Weaknesses vs. Strengths

Do you focus more on your weaknesses or your strengths?
Did you know that when a survey went out asking this very same question to huge organizations all over the world 30% said they focused on their strengths and 70% focused on their weakness. Why do we this?
This question was brought to my attention after listening to Marcus Buckingham speak at the Women of Faith conference this weekend. As I sat their listening to Marcus I became increasingly convicted on the fact that I as a parent tend to focus more on my children's weaknesses rather than their strengthens. It was brought to my attention how very backwards this way of thinking truly is.
For example: My youngest daughter Amber is not what you would call an "easy" child. From the day she was born I had this sense that she was going to be very different from my first born (who I like to call an angel baby). Amber was born with pixy in her eyes, she is extremely stubborn, short tempered, clingy, overly curious and above all trouble waiting to happen!!! In the last month she has gotten into a bottle of Zicam and thrown it up all over my poor moms blow up mattress, (She has also gotten hold of a baby Tylenol bottle and figured out how to open it regardless of the safety system on it...we luckily got it from her before she took any but not without a fight) She has also learned how to unlock the double bolted front door and numerous times I have caught her just before she made it to the middle of the street, we have had to put one of those baby door knobs on the inside of her bedroom door just to keep her in her room at night but she has recently learned how to tear them apart and get out anyways, not to mention her new found fascination with toilets and the countless times she has backed them up due to flushing inanimate objects down them. I could go on and on about this child and the fun never stops, its all day everyday!!! I have recently become aware that I complain way to much about Ambers behavior and perhaps I need to hold my tongue a bit...So if you hear me ranting PLEASE you have permission to slap my wrist...and I am serious.... I really am working on not talking about her so much in fear that she may hear me and for the rest of her life label herself as TROUBLE, and that is the last thing I want for her.
I have struggled to know exactly how to handle her behavior until this strengths vs weaknesses came to my attention...what if instead of focusing on the above written paragraph I were to tell you that Amber is in fact extremely loving and caring. Already, at one years old, we can tell she has a servants heart and looks out for others often before herself....what an amazing quality right!? She loves to be Mommy's little helper...in fact I caught her this morning trying to unload the dishwasher for me

So I made a commitment to start focusing on my children for what they are rather than what they are not. For Amber I think that means keeping her busy with chores.. LOL...my hope is that by keeping her hands busy it will keep her out of trouble...we will see how it goes. :)

World Changers!

I attend a women's bible study on Tuesday mornings that has been such a blessing for me. Every Tuesday I walk out of there feeling refreshed and alive and today was no exception. We are towards the end of our study and the lesson today was on "Our Calling" The leader of the study shared that she once was at a conference and the pastor stopped in the middle of his sermon and told the crowd that he felt strongly that in the midst of them there were World Changers and he wanted everyone to go to one of those people and pray for them. Looking around she wasn't sure who she should go pray for until she realized that a group of people were laying hands on her and praying for her... Tears began to pour down my face as I found myself taken back to a similar time in my own life when I was 15 years old and a group of people laid hands on me and encouraged me to commit my life to full time ministry. I remember being overwhelmed with the fact that I felt so ordinary yet these people saw something in me that was world changing. I remember feeling my whole body shake because I had never felt like anything was so right before. After that experience I went to college to study ministry and married and pastor and have been serving God ever since but these last few years I have felt sort of lost in my calling. Since becoming a mom I find it difficult to spend time with God like I used to, I can no longer volunteer my time at church, or lead mission trips, and I so desperately desire to work with my husband and his youth ministry but it is just to hard to do these things with the kids. I have spent many days and nights feeling trapped in my own home yet desiring so desperately to be out there changing the world. After the lesson was over our table leader saw that I was emotional and asked if I would share what was going on inside me...I shared with her my feelings of wanting to do and be so much more for
Christ but feeling trapped in this season of raising my young children. She than told me that God gave her a vision as I was sharing...that I was not to worry God has me right were he wants me. She said her vision was of me as a gardener planting seeds and the flowers that grew from those seeds were my children and they were the ones that were world changers! Wow.
Its so funny how we often feel this call on our lives and we see it so differently than God sees it. For me I want to be out there on the mission field getting dirty for God but instead God brought my mission field right into my own home with my two little girls. Maybe for you...you might want to be like the seeds still in the pouch never wanting to get dirty never wanting to grow but God has so much more for you outside of your comfort zone. Ask God today what your calling is...Maybe you are a World Changer too!

I am thankful I am able

Don't you hate it when it seems as though God has you on this "thing" wither its a conviction or a thought or a change of mind its just this thing that no matter how hard you try to get away from it, its everywhere and everyone you know is talking about it, and the pastor preaches his sermon on it, and your friend brings it up in conversation and you get to this point when you finally are like "Is God trying to tell me something?" duh!
Well that is what has been happening to me in the last couple of weeks. The subject matter is nothing deep or life changing its sort of basic really it has to do with house cleaning. yup, house cleaning. It started a few weeks ago when I started to notice my husband making frequent comments about my lack of house work. Comments such as "Wow there are a lot of dishes in the sink today!" or "How long has it been since you pushed the button on the automatic vacuum cleaner?" At first I took offense to his comments and my women's rights side of me emerged and I would strike back with "Well I have been a little busy with YOUR kids all day long" Or "Its just as easy for you to push the button on the vacuum than it is for me" but in my quiet moments his words would sting a little because I realized how little house work I was actually doing and I could probably be doing a better job. So I started to put more work into the house during the day but God could not just stop there (He knows me to well) So it seemed everywhere I went people were talking about this subject of doing your job and doing it well. So I thought I would share just some quick lessons I have learned this week. 1. You should clean your house for your family and you should tidy up for your company. (Yea think on that one for awhile...I know in my house those two are reversed) 2. Be the best you can be in the job God has you in because you never know how that job (as mundane as it may seem) may be preparing you for something bigger in the future. 3.Instead of saying "I HAVE to clean the house today" or "I HAVE to take care of the kids today" instead change it to "I am ABLE..." Putting praise and thanksgiving into your work makes its so much easier to get done. I am by no way saying that because I am a women my duty is the house work. Brandon and I made a commitment on our wedding day that stigmas like that would not be apart of our household but I have come to the realization that for this season of life, I am home with the kids and the house and for now that is my job, and I am to do it well. I have to say that I cleaned the house with a thankful heart yesterday and my husband actually noticed and that felt good. So for me, I need to clean my house more, what can you be doing better in the season of life you are in?

"I'm not perfect..."

Its so hard to come home from vacation! I suggest that we start a new tradition that after a week vacation you get another week at home to let your body adjust to the real world. Brandon and I just got back from a 7 day cruise to the Mexican Riviera. We had a BLAST to say the least. 7 days and 7 nights with NO kids! I think we most appreciated the undisturbed sleep. The first morning we slept until 10am (We were bummed we missed the morning buffet.) We were like kids again...we ate whatever we wanted when we wanted, we stayed out late dancing, we went down the Cruise ship twisty slide several times, we went on several adventures like ATV rides, zip lines, water skis and racing horses along the beach...I can't even begin to tell you how much I needed to feel...well...Free again.
So coming home has been an adjustment, to say the least. We have gotten through the week dragging our feet through the mundane tasks of everyday life. I feel like Brandon and I have talked only when necessary...both trying to morn and adjust in our own way I guess. And I have not been the most energetic mom this week either...if you know what I mean.
Well today, after spending the day picking apples at a local farm with our good friends from play group, I finally had a fun day in my REAl life and it was just what I needed to snap me out of my vacation woos. But, the best part of the day was that my 3 year old enlightened me! Yup, you heard me right! Don't you just love the moments when you think you are about to be super mom and teach your child a very important life skill, like baking a pie, and than your child turns around and teaches you something so much more important. Well it happened to me like this: I got Petyon all set up on a chair by the sink washing the apples while I was peeling and coring. I was already getting a little teary over the fact that my baby was able to wash a basket full of apples like a pro...when and how did she learn to do such a thing...and when did she get tall enough to reach the faucet??? But to seal the deal on the tear flow my little princess starts singing a song from our latest car CD by Laurie Berkner:
"I'm not perfect, no I'm not.
but I do the best with what I got!
I do my very best, I do my very best,
I do my very best each day
but I'm not perfect and
I hope you like me that way!"
"sing it with me mommy!" Peyton shouts. So away we worked singing this song at the top of our lungs. Peyton even changed the lyrics to "WE are not perfect" and with each verse I felt more and more free. As I sang "We're not perfect!" all the not so perfect mom moments of the past week began to flash before me, like the fact that I plopped my kids in front of a movie so that I could sneak off and catch up on Project Runway Episodes, or the time that I faked being asleep while my husband got up with the baby. "I'm not perfect but I do the best with what I got" I shouted, this time with feeling. It felt amazing! Seriously try it! We sang it over 26 times (which I would NOT recommend) but really...It just feels good to accept and acnowledge that we are not perfect every once and awhile....and guess what...Its ok! I wish you all could have heard my 3 year old sing this song, you too would have been enlightened! :)

So...I have a Secret Admirer!

My husband and I have been going through a book for about a year now called "101 nights of romance" by Laura Corn. I know, sounds a bit scandalise but let me explain. Its basically a book full of what it calls "seductions" or otherwise known as dates. When we feel like we might have a little free time that week for a date night or two we each pick an envelope out of the book one says for HIS EYES ONLY the other says for HER EYES ONLY and inside the envelope is a recipe for a wonderful surprising romantic adventure that you plan for your spouse. I can't begin to tell you how much I recommend this book to every married couple. We believe in it so much that we have given it as a wedding present at every wedding we have gone to in the last year. It simply brings back that portion of your relationship that is quickly left behind soon after marriage and that is the ROMANCE! This book has forced us to practice our romance and make it a priority in our marriage. Because after all, it's the thrill of the chase that makes the capture so sweet!
Well not all of the seductions go off without a hitch but they always create amazing memories...for example, Brandon's seduction this week must have been to romance me with flowers. All week long I have been finding flowers hidden for me...Some of my favorite places I found them were on the churches kitchen sink because he knew I was meeting someone there that night...or I had to pick up our car from the shop and the lady that gave me the paper work handed me a flower...I found several on my car windsheild before leaving places too...all the flowers were left with little love notes like "I think you are beautiful"..."I'm thinking of you" etc...and signed - your secret admirer - Yesterday while at swim lessons one of the pool staff ladies walked over to another mom that was sitting at the edge of the pool with a bouquet of flowers and said "I think a Man just left these for you...he said to give them to the lady in the white top sitting by the pool" Well she was wearing a white top and so was I...Mine was white with little flowers on it but, MEN not the most detailed of creatures. I was kind of smiling because I knew they were for me but watching this lady squirm and read the note that said "Love, your secret admirer" was classic. Well she refused the flowers and said they could not possibly be for her because she was married and had two kids. Ha ha ha ha!! Too Funny! So the pool staff lady walked over to me with the flowers and said "I guess these are for you then" I said "Sure, I will take them, I never pass up flowers!"
Well Today at swim lessons that lady came over and introduced herself to me and we small talked for a little bit and than she began to bring up the flower incident from the day before. She said she was very disturbed that a man would send flowers to her child's swim lessons because that was such an inappropriate place to do such a thing! She also began to point out all the strange men that were around the pool that she had caught staring at us and that her husband was very uncomfortable with her coming today and told her to be careful...I told her I was pretty sure the flowers were from my husband...she looked at me shocked! It was hilarious!
Just goes to show how far out of romance practice us married couples can be. Why is it so shocking for a husband to send his wife flowers in a public place? And more than that...are we so consumed with fear that we can not accept or even see the romance in it? Hopefully this has inspired you to bring a little romance into your relationship today...but maybe not at a public pool!

Be kind to your introvert.

I was reminded last week of just how much of an introvert I really am. In my younger days, when I cared to much about what people thought of me, it was hard for me to admit that I was an introvert. I guess I didn't want to be labeled as shy, or a person that didn't know how to have fun and socialize, not that I think introverts are those things but it seems to me that the rest of the world does. So I spent many years failing at being an extrovert until I grew tired and came out of the closet and decided to openly except my introverted personality. For the most part I believe that I am a well-adjusted introvert. I adapt well to the challenges that come with being an introvert but every once in awhile I feel myself becoming overwhelmed. Last week, for example, I came to a head with my introverted side. The kids and I had the joy and privilege of spending three straight weeks with our beloved family members. Even though I love these people dearly and would not take back a second that I spent with them, by the end of the third week I began to feel a bit strange. The best way I can describe it is it feels as though the walls are about to cave in and all I want to do is dive into an air pocket where I know I will be safe. Just for fun I did a little research on the subject this week and I came up with some fascinating facts. So for all my fellow introverts out there this is for you...and for my extroverted friends maybe this will help you understand us...maybe.

1. Did you know that introverts only make up 25% of the population? Although a minority they make up 60% of the gifted population!
2. On average for every hour of socialization an introvert needs two hours of alone time to recharge.
3.Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand But, Extroverts have little to no grasp of introversion. They can not begin to comprehend why someone would want to be alone.
4. Introverts can find small talk easy but tiring – and sometimes boring. They'd rather have meaningful conversations about the depths of human souls and minds.
5. Introverts' personality traits include increased blood flow in the frontal lobes, anterior thalamus, and other regions associated with remembering events, making plans, and problem-solving. An introvert's brain is literally wired differently than an extrovert's!

- I found these facts in a wonderful article published in the Atlantic Magazine, written by Jon Rauch called "Caring for your introvert" http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/

Even though I have full heartily excepted my introvert status I thought just for fun I would post this list entitled "all the things I don't like about being an introvert." Because trust me there are some...

1.I dislike having people assume I won't be comfortable doing something...they are probably right but it's not nice to assume.
2.I don’t like it when I know I’m not being my normal charming self because I am mentally exhausted (probably from being charming).
3.I don’t like having to explain introversion to people as if it’s a “condition”.
4.It bothers me when people tease me for being “in my shell” or even worse when they comment on when I decide to come out.
5.I sometimes don’t like that I think about and analyze things way to much. I have trouble sleeping a lot because I can't shut down my thoughts! Sometimes this trait is good but it can be frustrating.
6.I dislike it when people confuse introversion with being shy, stuck up, conceited or uncaring. I think I’ve been all of the above listed things before, but not because I’m an introvert!
7.It ticks me off when people think I should be saying something when there is nothing for me to say. If I had something of importance to say, I’d pipe up! Otherwise, it’s better to let everyone else run their mouths.
8.It bothers me when I am perfectly happy doing “nothing”,and someone suggests that I do something more fun. What might that be–heading to the nearest club with the loudest music?. Personally I would take sitting and staring at a flower any day.


-posted july 28th by livingintroverted

A moment in the life of Amber

So Amber is 18 months old now and she keeps us busy to say the least. Today I happened to catch a wonderful video of her just doing what she does best...being herself. When she is not driving us crazy she is cracking us up. Such a strange yet wonderful little baby. Hope this video makes you smile like I get to everyday being her Mom. (Sorry for the poor video taping skills with my camera.) The first part of the video she is, for whatever reason, smelling a dirty dish towel and I think she realizes it smells bad...well you will see...she is so funny! :)

"A Wonderful Life"

I love when strangers inspire a blog posting. Does this happen to anyone else but me?...There you are minding your own business and out of no where a stranger can say something to you that stops you in your tracks and forces you to analyze your life. Crazy but happens to me all the time. Today was no different...
So I just got back from a wonderful, amazing girls weekend, hanging with some of my favorite people in the whole world, doing all the things I love, and most importantly living hour by hour for me...just for me. An amazing feeling for a full time mom! I could eat when I wanted, shower when I wanted, take time styling my hair the way I wanted...all things that are hard to do in my daily life. On the last day while laying on a raft in the middle of a lake with my girls I might have sighed and said,"tomorrow I HAVE to go back to being a mom..." It just slipped out. Oops! One of the girls, who does not have kids yet, turned to me and said..."so I need to know...is it worth it?" "Of course its worth it!" I said "everyday I smile because of my kids...everyday I feel indescribable love because of my kids and everyday I feel accomplished because of my kids...that is worth it! But if I am being completely honest tomorrow before I go home I am going to have to sike myself up again before I go back into the world that is no longer mine but theirs."
See I do this thing sometimes where I start throwing myself a pity party. It happens if I start to think to long and hard about the body that I once took for granted before I had kids and now fear I may never get back...or the moments when I think of the dreams I have had to let go of... and the time that I once cherished to just sit, either by myself or with a good friend, and ponder life and its meaning...those moments now seem few and far between. They are short pity parties that often quickly pass but I do have them. I wish I could say that I am a mom like my mom was and many of you are that just LOVES everything about being a Mom! Don't get me wrong I love being a mom but EVERYTHING?...no not everything.
So today was a day like everyday for me. kids, laundry, cooking dishes, cleaning, crying, whining, laughing...but today I decided to get out of the house. The sun was shining in Santa Cruz and this was the first sight of it in weeks, so in the midst of the chores that had to be done I had the bright idea of taking the kids down to the beach for a few hours. Now with children as young as mine you can't just plop them in the stroller and go, it takes about an hour or more to even get to the stroller. After several melt downs, sibling fights, time outs, owies, and not being able to find the right shoes we were out the door. Tear stained faces and all. As I was grumbling to myself walking down our street this nice older lady walking home carrying a bag of groceries took one look at me and said "Wow...you must live a wonderful life!" It wasn't what she said as much as how she said it that made me want to slap myself for the pity party I was throwing only moments before. Seriously...I do live a "wonderful life!" I mean look at me... with my two beautiful children, on a sunny day, walking down to the beach...what is wrong with me to be thinking anything less?
I have been reminded a lot lately about the power and destruction of negative thoughts...After my encounter with the stranger I came to a realization that any negative thought that enters my mind has nothing to do with my kids, or my husband, or my circumstances, it has to do with me! I choose to think negatively or positively about my life, I choose to focus on my shortcomings rather than my blessings. Also, I know that not one of my negative thoughts comes from God, because nothing about the way He thinks and acts is negative, in fact he tells us over and over again in scriptures to change our thinking...to have right thoughts.
One of my favorite verses...dedicated to me by the wisdom of my parents on the day of my high school graduation has often been a wonderful way to get me back on track in my right thinking. Today I looked it up for the first time in the Message Bible here is what is says: "Summing it up my friends, I say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things that are true, noble, authentic, compelling, gracious - the best, not the worst, the beautiful, not the ugly, things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." Philippians 4:8-9
May the God who works in perfect harmony bless you today with positive thinking and remind you... that you live a wonderful life!

These Are My Girls

Just got back from our 6th annual girls weekend with my best friends from college. The older we get the more we appreciate and value the friendships we have with one another. We have over 10 years of memories with each other. Its something rare and special that many do not have. One of the girls, Jes wrote us a song this year. She surprised us and had it recorded before hand and then booked a recording studio for us while in Nashville (on music row I might add) so that we could all do the background vocals together. Of course we were all in tears when we first heard it so it means a lot to me to share with you this amazing blessing I have in these girls. Enjoy!

So... my daughter might be a bully!

I hate to admit this but its true...my daughter (Amber...the baby) is suddenly exhibiting bully like behavior. I first noticed it the other night when we had some friends, who were in town from LA, over for dinner. They have a boy a few months older than Peyton and a girl a few months younger than Amber. The boy and Peyton quickly became fast friends (which I expected) but the babies reacted a little differently. At first Amber would just glare at Emma from across the room but one touch of her stuff and Amber was not having it. Pushing, hitting, screaming and tug o war for toys went on all evening between the two of them. I have to admit that Emma was not letting down either, she put up a good fight...one time even winning a battle for a toy...pretty impressive stuff. Although this little cat fight was quiet entertaining for the parents it made me start to worry a bit about the behavior I saw coming from my 16 month old.
Well if my concerns were not real after that night they certainly are after today. We went to the park to let out some energy. Right away Peyton jumped in with a group of girls who were playing fairies and Amber went straight for the slide (typical). Amber went up the stairs and down the slide several times before another little girl, a few months older than her, started up the stairs at the same time...well for whatever reason Amber was not happy about sharing the stairway and began elbowing her way up, well the other little girl, being bigger than Amber, won the battle and got to the top first Amber just sat there glaring...I am beginning to learn that no good shall come from this look. Amber literally waited for that little girl to come back to the stairs and she began to attack her (well attack may be a strong word but I had to pull my child off of her in fear of her safety) The other little girl had fought back and left scratch marks on Amber's face. For the rest of our time at the park Amber had it in for this girl. She would see her coming and would give her "the look" or let out some harsh baby babble at her...it was crazy. I couldn't believe this was my child. I was that mom at the park who had the kid that all the other moms were whispering about. On the way home we stopped to grab some fast food for dinner while waiting for our food Peyton wanted a toy from the coin machine so in a weak moment I gave in. She got a little blue bouncy ball that was in the shape of a panda bear. Cute! She played with it all through dinner. Back in the car again Amber was picking a fight with Peyton over the last of the ice in the bottom of the soda cup. I heard the fight begin so I encouraged Peyton to give Amber a piece of ice so that we wouldn't have to hear whining all the way home. Peyton was apparently not moving fast enough for Amber and all the sudden I hear Peyton screaming "My blue Ball!!!" I look in my rear view mirror and see Amber with "the look" on her face while she is Chewing on Peyton's blue ball. "Amber" I said "You spit that out!" she just kept chewing while Peyton was screaming. I told Peyton she better give her a piece of ice if she ever wanted to see her ball again. Sure enough as soon as Peyton gave Amber a piece of ice, with vengeance, Amber spit out the ball and handed it back to Peyton. What the heck?!
I have always said "this child is going to be the death of me" from the moment she was born she came out fighting. Hopefully one day I can get her fighting for what is right and she will use that energy to change the world! In the mean time... look out for her at the playground!

Where did my sweet baby go?

5:00 - Just got home from a long day of running errands with the girls to find that we had no power in the house. Because of past history in our area I knew that the power could be off for hours or days so I began to form a game plan for the evening. Looking at my grubby little girls I decided that baths were most important and I wanted to get them over with before it got dark. So I got both girls in the bath.
5:25 - Amber had all she could take of Peyton pouring water over her head and demanded to be taken out so I got her dried off and into her PJ's and then quickly did the same for Peyton. Next step of the game plan was to clean the house up a bit. I had company coming for the weekend and not knowing how much longer I would have daylight I grabbed the 409 and hit the bathrooms, not soon after I hear a cat fight break out in the living room. Amber was apparently trying to take the baby doll stroller from Peyton and no matter how hard I tried to get her to play with another toy she was not having it, so I eventually had to take the stroller away which lead to even more tears so what did I do? What any good mother would do... I flipped on Sesame Street and hoped they would get over it. (the power came back on by the way) It seemed to be working so I went back to the bathrooms.
6:00 - Peyton came wondering in asking if she could color so I stopped what I was doing and got her set up on the kitchen table which only led to Amber fussing because she too wanted to be sitting at the kitchen table. As I was getting out the coloring book Amber had already climbed on top of the chair and onto the table. I decided maybe this would be a good time for dinner to I placed Amber in her highchair and began to heat up hot dogs. I cut the hot dogs up and poured them on her tray along with some blueberries and handed her a fork. I figured she would be happy there for a bit so I went back to work.
6:10 - I hear Amber starting to complain so I rushed out to the kitchen to find that she had squashed every blueberry on her tray and rubbed them in her hair. Back into the bath she goes.
6:20 - Amber is clean and dressed...again... so I sit her in front of Sesame street and leave to start a load of laundry. Mins later I hear a very scary sound...the scariest of all sounds for a mom and that is the sound of "silence." No good shall come from long periods of "silence." So I rush back into the living room to find that Amber had found a bottle of Snapple and some how manged to figure out how to twist the top off of it and had poured the whole bottle all over herself. I take off her 2nd pair of PJs for the evening and go in search of the third pair.
6:22 - In the laundry room trying to find a clean pair of jammies when I hear another interesting sound coming from the kitchen. I rush in and find Amber on top of a chair sifting through a box of markers on the counter. I decided she would probably be ok for one more sec while I found a pair of clean PJs.
6:23 - Found a pair! Walk into the kitchen to find Amber holding a permanent Black marker which she had successfully taken the cap off of. She saw me coming for it so she looked me square in the eyes and as quick as she could she marked a long black line across her bare chest. NO! I shouted and grabbed a baby wipe and tried to get it off. No such luck (if a baby wipe can't get it off nothing will, those things can get spots out of the carpet.) So I decided what the heck and put her third pair of clean jammies on her for the night. By the way, this whole time she is screaming and trying to slap me in the face, which is becoming more of a trend these days. ugh. So I get her to calm down by giving her a sippy cup of juice and sat her once again in front of Elmo hoping this time she would stay there.
6:45 - I finally finish the bathrooms and peak in to check on the girls. Amber was sitting in front of elmo holding her sippy cup in one hand and the lid to it in the other. Somehow, once again, she had managed to twist off the lid to the sippy cup and spill it all over herself. How is this possible!!! My three year old can not even twist off the lid to a sippy cup! I asses the spillage and decide most of it got on the carpet and she was only a little wet so she could stay in her PJS (plus I knew she didn't have any more clean ones anyways) but it was indeed time for her to go to bed. I had had about as much as I could handle for one night!

New Discoveries

Amber has been growing and changing at a rapid rate these days. I am calling this month of her life the month of new discoveries because it seems as though everyday she is learning something new. One of her favorite discoveries has been her legs and she has learned how to use them very well, which is driving mom crazy! I chase after her all day long and if I turn my back on her for one sec. she is out of sight, up the stairs, down the street, on top of the kitchen table, I don't underestimate what she can or will do these days in fear of her safety.
She has also learned the word NO! When she says it (which is ALL DAY LONG) its not just no, its a very high pitched shrieking NOOOOOOOO! So its kind of cute and hard not to laugh at but I am trying to bite my lip and teach her that that behavior is not acceptable in this house. So far no success.
A few nights ago while we were eating dinner around the table she must have realized for the first time that she was the only one that did not have a fork and she was not pleased about this at all. After much shrieking and crying I finally figured out what she wanted and she has been eating with a fork everyday since, she is not bad at it either and it makes dinnertime last a bit longer for mom and dad.
Mom's least favorite new activity that Amber has discovered is pulling open the bottom drawers of the girls dresser and unloading all that is inside. Poor Peyton has been wearing wrinkled clothes lately because of the many times they have been in piles on the floor.
By far Amber's favorite new discovery this month has been the ocean. Due to the beautiful weather lately and the fact that we live within walking distance from the beach it has been hard to keep us away. Now that Amber is able to walk around she has discovered that not far from the beach towel is water, and she loves the water! So I spend most of the time chasing her up and down the beach so that she does not get washed away. So much for the days that I could sit and relax on a beach towel and watch her eat sand.
But my very favorite thing about this month is that my children are learning to love each other! They are finally able to play nicely together and is blesses my heart. The other day I heard them laughing in their room and Peyton was sitting in her doll stroller and Amber was pushing her around the room. They love giving zurberts on each others tummies and chasing each other around the house. Last night I was about to put Amber to bed and Peyton came running after me practically in tears saying "she forgot to give her sissy a kiss goodnight." So sweet. Maybe they will be friends after all.

Cinderella

Never in my best dreams would I have ever though that my daughter would love Cinderella more than I do. And those that know me, know that I LOVE CINDERELLA. For me it started when I was a child and my father used to call me Kenderella and I felt nothing short of a princess when he did that, so ever since Cinderella has been my favorite Disney character. So much so, that Brandon asked me to marry him in front of the castle at Disneyland and I believe his exact words after getting down on his knees were "Will you be my Cinderella forever?". We even had a Cinderella wedding...well as much Cinderella as I could get away with and not be too cheesy but, a special moment that I will never forget was our first dance to "So this is love." So there is a little past history on my love for Cinderella and why I would want to share it with my daughter.
Well it all started a few weeks ago when I decided Peyton was finally old enough to appreciate watching Cinderella for the first time. We got in our jammies and snuggled up on the couch with bowls of ice cream and popcorn. I was determined to make this a magical moment for the two of us. I expected her to loose interest half way through (once the popcorn was gone) but she didn't, she was glued to the movie and when it ended she gave me a huge hug and said "Mommy that was the greatest movie I have ever seen." I was a puddle on the floor. Since that night she has watched Cinderella almost every day. A few days ago she began randomly quoting the movie and singing the songs and just yesterday she decided that she, in fact, WAS Cinderella. If you tried to call her Peyton she would politely correct you and say "You mean Cinderella." (Oh Boy, What have I created?) So not going to lie, I got her to help me pull weeds in the yard yesterday because I told her Step Mother told her to do so. As we were pulling weeds she was chattering away about the mice and the birds and the mean cat and the ugly step sisters and her step mother that was very sad. Sad? "Why is the step mother and step sisters sad?" I asked her, and then my three year old had a profound thought, she said "because they never go out of their house so they don't have any friends and they are lonely." Isn't that so true! Relationships are the most important thing in this life! Way to often we get caught up in our own world and our own schedule and don't make time for other people and then we wonder why we are so sad and lonely. Once again, the world could learn a lot from a three year old...and Cinderella.

Things parents shouldn't do

Yes its true, and even healthy to admit every once in awhile that we parents make mistakes! But in our household those mistakes are mostly made by my husband....ha ha ha...NOT! I was sadly reminded of this fact a few days ago! but first let me tattle-tell on Brandon because that is more fun anyways...don't worry I will get to me.
A few weekends back we decided to go on a family picnic. I had just spent the day cleaning out the shed and found a wicker picnic basket that was given to us for our wedding. I thought it would be fun to pack up dinner and walk to the park with our authentic picnic basket and have some fun family time. As I was doing the last min packing (If you are a mom you understand what this means. Running around the house like a crazy person trying to think of anything you might need that would make this outing easier on you. Grabbing things like jackets, a change of clothes, your child's favorite drink, toys, and lollipops in case of an emergency bribing session. This process is very important because if you forget anything your entire trip may be ruined and end in tears and tantrums and I am not talking about the kids!) Brandon was outside loading the kids into the double stroller...unattended I might add. The evening was beautiful, the sea breeze was sweet. We took off singing "the ants go marching" it was perfect. Well almost. The stupid authentic wicker picnic basket was to big and heavy to fit in the bottom of the stroller so after watching Brandon make many failed attempts of holding onto the heavy basket with one hand and pushing the stroller with the other I offered to push the stroller and Brandon carried the picnic basket. We happily made it all the way to the last crosswalk before the park and I realized that the curb for the crosswalk was rather high and I was going to need some momentum to get over it. So I sped up and gave the stroller a strong push but instead of the stroller going over the curb it full force hit it and Peyton went flying out of the stroller onto the sidewalk! Of course my first reaction was to cradle my crying daughter in my loving arms and kiss the injury's....well ok maybe not my first reaction...My first reaction was to yell at my husband of course... "You didn't strap her in! What are you thinking?" Peyton's foot was bleeding and scratched up in several places and I made the mistake of showing her the blood which made her cry even harder. So Brandon scooped her up and carried her the rest of the way to the park. I got the stroller safely over the curb with Amber still in it. Concerned about Peyton's foot I began walking quickly to catch up with them when all of the sudden I felt the weight change in the stroller and I stopped and looked down and Amber had slid down into the basket of the stroller. In disbelief I thought, He didn't strap her in either?! I yelled at the top of my lungs "This is why you aren't allowed to be alone with these kids for any significant amount of time because they might die!!!" It was at that moment that I noticed a nice elderly couple walking by us with disapproving glances...oops. We asked Peyton if she wanted to go home and she said no. So we stayed at the park despite the constant complaining and crying out "I miss my foot!" which I thought was very philosophical of her. Brandon feeling a tad bit guilty I am sure, told her we could stop for ice cream on the way home and that seemed to heal it right up. I of course forgave Brandon but not without telling the story to several friends and family and giving him a hard time for the next few days. Brandon told me later that he made the conscious decision to not strap them in because he decided that they were old enough now. Whatever!
Ok so fast forward to this weekend...this is my failed parent story...told you I would get to it...So I was vacuuming the house. Amber is our little scardy cat. She is scared of a lot of random things like, a voice talking back to her on the telephone, or when mom has a towel on her head after the shower and Santa Clause, Easter Bunny forget it but, nothing is more frightening to her than the vacuum. So the moment she saw me getting the horrible thing out she hurried into her bedroom to hide. Peyton loves to "help" me vacum so she was "helping" and I could tell Amber was feeling left out. She wanted to be apart but just couldn't get up the nerve. I watched her out of the corner of my eye peeking around the doorway at us but then jumping back in if we got anywhere near her. It was pretty cute. When we were all finished vacuuming I thought I would have a little "fun." I waited by Amber's door for her to peek out again and I was going to pretend to push the vacuum towards her. (I know mean huh?) Well instead of her peeking out this time she must have finally got up the nerve to walk out of the doorway and she walked right into the vacuum...not knowing that it was there she freaked out and thinking that she was running back through the doorway she ran smack into the wall!!! In just the few sec that it took me to get to her and scoop her screaming body up I could see a huge bump already forming on her forehead. Boy...did I feel horrible and of course Brandon did not go light on the guilt trips.
So the moral of the story...we are not perfect. At least our kids forgive us and still love us despite our faults. Well at least for now they do, I don't even want to think about the teenage years. I try to pretend that those don't exist for us.

Lead Me

Heard this song on the radio the other day that captured my attention so much that I had to sit in the driveway waiting for the song to end so that I could hear who it was by. It was written by a band called Sanctus Real and the song is called "Lead Me". Here are some of the lyrics.

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

Ok...confession time. There are days I just don't feel like being a mom. There... I said it... and I would bet money that I am not the only mom that has ever felt that way. The last couple of days have been very difficult for me because I have been exhausted. I just came home from a 3 day conference that was full of late nights and early mornings and not only that I was awakened several times during those nights with an unhappy baby wishing she was in her own bed at home. It drained me. People who are not moms can come home from a trip like that and get some rest, but not a mom. I was up at 6:45am the next morning and back to mommy duties. There was one moment between unpacking, laundry and dishes where I found myself drifting off to sleep on the couch while the kids were watching TV ( I know horrible isn't it?) and I was jolted awake by Petyon practically jumping on my face saying "Mommy, get up. You have to play with me!" I tried explaining to her "mommy is tired she needs to rest" but of course that was like speaking a foreign language to her. Right than I had this sort of Deja vu moment except I was the little girl jumping on my exhausted mom not having a clue in the world why she JUST WOULDN'T GET UP! oh so funny how the tables turn. Yes God..."Give me the strength to be everything you have called me to be. Lead me."

The Child's Angel

My brain is full at the moment. I don't even know how to begin to process all that I witnessed at the Catalyst conference this week. (If you want to know more about Catalyst you can go here: http://www.catalystwestcoast.com/catalyst.php) For me, when I feel I am in a fog of emotion, I write and it helps to clear the air. So this entry is more for me than anyone else but maybe it will help clear the air for someone else too.

Before Catalyst I was becoming more and more sickened by the growing statics of child abuse in our world today. Its funny how before you have kids these things bother you but after you have kids these things keep you up at night. I have been kept up at night more times than I can count after hearing things like 20,000 images of child pornography are posted illegally online every WEEK, or that 1 in 58 children are being raised in abusive homes this year, or that every year 15 million children die of hunger. These things bother me beyond words and I have questioned why God would allow it. I recently went through Beth Moores Bible study on Revelation and got some comfort on this topic after coming to the realization that God does not let these things go unnoticed and there will be a day when God will avenge the blood of those who have been abused. I have great comfort knowing that there is a day coming when God will say ENOUGH! and all the abuse will stop in an instant and his wrath will be poured out on the earth. For those who have been wronged he will create a new earth for them where they will not think about nor even remember what has happened to them and the sound of weeping and crying will be heard no more (Isaiah 65:19). I love, love, love Isaiah 65:20 "Never again will there be an infant who only lives a few days" and vs 23 "no longer will there be children who are doomed to misfortune for they will be a people blessed by the Lord!" Amen to that right!

So I was extremely moved that Catalyst would spend sometime on the topic of abused children. Kay Warren and Wes Stafford (the President of Compassion) both gave incredible talks on behave of children here are just a few of there points.

1. Did you know that if one family from every four churches in America would adopt a foster child there would be no more foster care in America???
2. Mathew 18:10 - Children have their own personal guardian Angels and if we were able to see them we would fall down in fear of them and never lay a hand on a child again.
3. Did you ever notice that Jesus said "LET the children come to me" He did not say "BRING the children to me" If we would just get out of the way they would come to him.
4. Very soon after the account of "Jesus blessing the Children" found in the gospels, he was put on the cross. Children were among the last people to bless Jesus.

So just in case you ever had any doubt rest assured that JESUS Loves Children! Even now as Peyton is running down the hall with a balloon between her legs screaming "I love my Balloon Horse!" and Amber is throwing every single DVD off the shelf for the 5th time today I can not wipe this smile off my face knowing that the GOD of the universe finds great delight in my Children.

Easter or Bust...

Well this Easter was a different one for the Kertson household. Thanks to a very contagious case of the stomach flu things were not so Eastery around our house. I had really been looking forward to this Easter, for one because Peyton now understands holidays and she has been looking forward to this since the day after Christmas. She was so excited to go on an Easter Egg hunt and to see the Easter bunny and of course this made mom just as excited to experience these things through her eyes. I was also looking forward to my parents joining us for the holiday. My Dad had a meeting with someone in Monterey the day after Easter so they thought they would make a weekend out of it and drive up the Motor home and be with us for Easter. So Everything was lining up nicely until...
It all started Thursday morning when I went to go wake Amber up and noticed she had thrown up all over her crib. At first I didn't think much of it since I had tried a new milk out on her that night and just thought that it had upset her stomach but as soon as I had got her all cleaned up and dressed for the day she threw up again. Ugh. My parents arrived that afternoon and I warned them of the sickness but in true grandparent fashion they did not care and jumped right in playing with their grand kids. By that night Amber seemed a lot better even ate a little dinner and was playing happily, she went to bed and slept through the night so I did not think much more about it until Friday night...it hit me! Spent the night at the toilet wanting to die! It reminded me of being pregnant which reminded me to fulfill my birth control prescription. Well all went down hill from there Saturday night Peyton...poor little baby threw up all night and Sunday night Aunt Laurie got it which lead a call to 911 for an ambulance to take her to emergency to get IVS. Monday my poor parents had to take the long 6 hour drive home throwing up the whole way in the motor home (they didn't even get to go to their meeting that they came down here for in the first place)...I could not feel more terrible about that. Of course they said seeing their grandchildren made it worth it but I think they were just being nice. Brandon was the only one in this family that some how escaped the wrath of this bug. He said its because he prays more than the rest of us...whatever! Looking on the bright side there is one good thing about having the stomach flu on Easter and that is that I actually lost weight on a holiday!
Today was a great day! The sun was shining the kids were healthy. I cleaned cleaned cleaned the whole house from top to bottom. Peyton spent most of the day making all her stuffed animals throw up. They even had little bowls that they threw up in. She actually is pretty good at making a gagging sound...not that I am proud of that. So much for Easter. Better luck next year.

Peyton's well Earned Day at DisneyLand

Just realized I hadn't post these from Peyton's Day at Disneyland...so here is a sneak peek into her day.

Peyton waiting in line with her ziplock bag of money.
Its hard to tell but this is Peyton watching the lady at the ticket window turn her money into a ticket. My mom said she watched very carefully to see what they were doing with her money. cute.

This is inside small world. My mom said this was her favorite ride of the day (If you ask Peyton she says it was the Toon Town roller coaster) Although we have caught Peyton singing "Its a small world" to herself several times since than.
This is in the car on the ride home. happy and tired. My mom bought her this big stuffed Mickey. (not in the budget but Grandma will be Grandma) It has been her favorite toy since that day, even eats with us at the dinner table some nights. :)

Peyton's quest for Disneyland - part 3

Well I just sent my baby off to Disneyland with her Nana. We figured since we pretty much paid for Peyton's tickets through her earnings it would not be economical for me to buy another ticket for myself so Peyton is having some one on one time with Nana today. (The two people on this planet that couldn't love Disneyland more!) I pray this time is special for the both of them.

I guess I got a little ahead of myself...my last update Peyton only had $20 something so let me fill you in on the last $40 earned.

We arrived in LA on thursday night with piggy bank in hand. Peyton was excited to show Nana and Papa her piggy bank and tell them all about how hard she has been working. She was super excited that first night so Nana bribed her by telling her if she went to bed without crying and sleept through the night she would get $5. (Its alot easier to get money at Nana's house) So she went right to bed and sleept through the night. The next day was my Dad's Hillbilly birthday party so we were busy most of the day decorating and setting up. Peyton stayed home with Papa. I heard she earned a few dollars picking up her toys and eating her lunch. That evening we had a band at my Dad's party called the Saggy Bottom Boys lead by my brother on a wash board. When we arrived the band was rehearsing. Peyton ran up on stage with them and asked with she coud join them. They of course thought she was adorable and handed her a shaker and she stood on stage and danced and played her shaker through out the whole rehersal. When they were through one of the guys bent down to Peyton and said "well, I think you are hired" and as a joke handed her a one dollar bill. Well that was no joke to Peyton. Her face lit up and she came running to me waving her dollar bill saying "this is for my piggy bank!" The guys face was pricless...I am sure he was thinking...what three year old gets that excited about a dollar bill?

So she worked to earn money Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. On Wednesday morning Papa sat her down and dumped out her piggy bank to count all her money. The grand total $42 and some change. "Thats alot of money!" Peyton said. Papa and I agreed. So I took her to a coin star and cashed in her change (That little piggy bank held $23 in change alone) and than went to the bank and got out a $20 to make a grand total of $62, enough to buy a ticket. I put her money in a ziplock baggie and told her she had enough to go to Disneyland and she jumped up and down in the middle of the store for a good minute. The rest of the day was spend trying to explain to her the meaning of tomorrow since she didn't understand why she couldn't go that very moment to buy her ticket. Last night Nana put her to bed early. I was sceptical that she would go to sleep that early but Nana explained to her that she needed a good nights sleep for Disneyland and when she woke up it would be time to go. She went right to sleep!

So all in all I think some great lessons were leanred. I think I will keep up the piggy bank earning money thing so that the next time she wants something that cost money I can say "well how much money do you have?" Nana is going to have Peyton give her money in her ziplock bag to the cashier at Disneyland herself. I can't wait to here that story and all about her well earned day at Disneyland!

Peyton's Quest for Disneyland - Part 2

Well the other night we dumped out the piggy bank to count all the money that Peyton had made over the last couple of weeks. She has been working very hard, never letting a day go by without asking if she can make some money. She tells everyone that will listen about her little project too (like her gymnastics coach, Sunday school teacher and the bag boy at Safeway, to name a few) and along the way she has cheated just a little by being so cute and charming while telling her story that people have donated to the cause! lol. oh well, I figure a little charming never hurt anyone. But back to the money count...when we poured out the money from the bank onto the table Peyton said "wow! That is A LOT of Money!" We began to count, Peyton helped by counting the dollar bills (which by the way through this little project she has learned what a dollar, a quarter and a penny are and calls them by name) and daddy put the coins in piles amounting to a dollar so she could count those too. When we were all finished counting the grand total came to $26 and some change. When we told her the amount she put her face in her hands and said "Oh man!" I asked if she had enough to buy a ticket yet and she sadly said "no". So as you can see she is taking this seriously, which I think is amazing that a barely three year old can even grasp this concept. With a little more than a week left before Disneyland day she still has a lot of work to do (or a lot of charming to do). But apparently Nana has some projects waiting for her when she gets there so we will see what those are. I think she will make it *wink*wink.*In other news...Amber has all of the sudden in the last few days decided to make her voice known in this family...literally! She is starting to talk a lot more! Instead of crying when she wakes up from a nap she yells from her crib "Mommy? Daddy?" Today after hitting Peyton over the head with a toy and than screaming at her I scolded her and than told her to say she was sorry (not expecting her to actually say it) and this little baby looked right up at Peyton and with a quivering lip and every thing said "sory." She also knows several animal sounds and can count! no joke! I held up two pacifiers the other day and without us even asking her to she said "two." She's a genius! :) I was telling Brandon last night that it is a good thing she is so cute and smart because her strong-will makes me want to strangle her most days. As cute as she is, she is doubly as stubborn and I don't say this lightly, she has me scared to death of what the future has in store for me as far as parenting this little one. I just try to keep reminding myself that if I can successfully channel this behavior for good, she may just be able to change this world for the better. I am convinced that the great leaders of our country started out as stubborn and strong willed children, so I feel privileged to be given this challenge but a "challenge" I am sure it will be.

Peyton's quest for Disneyland - part 1

In a couple weeks we will be taking a mini vacation! yay! We are going to be visiting my parents to celebrate my Dad's 70th birthday (we are having a hillbilly party for him...hee hee) and than we are leaving the kids with Nana and Papa and Brandon and I are going to Arizona for a few days. It's actually really exciting, Brandon was chosen to present a paper he wrote at the society of biblical languages conference... more on that later.
Well I usually wait until the very last min to tell Peyton that we are going somewhere fun because as much as we have tried to teach her about days, weeks, months and years the concept is still very foreign to her. One week in our world means any second in hers, so you can imagine why I try to wait. Well my wonderful husband (in true husband like fashion, which is not his fault, he is not with her all day everyday and does not have to listen to the constant questioning, so he does not know that some things MUST be kept secret for the sanity of the MOM... I digress) told Peyton that she was going to see Nana and Papa soon. Well this was about a week ago and sometime during the course of having to explain to her everyday...no we are not going to Nana's today... she got her in mind that not only is she going to Nana's house she is also going to DISNEYLAND! If you know anything about my child you know that it is not easy to talk her out of one of her ideas. She could tell you that the sky is green and you could try all day long to tell her that the sky is not green it is blue and she would continue to tell you that in fact the sky was green, so trying to tell her that she was NOT going to go to Disneyland was not going well. So I decided to try to rationalize (with a three year old this can be tricky) and tell her that we did not have enough money to go to Disneyland. The conversation went something like this:

Mom: Disneyland cost a lot of money. Daddy would have to work a long time to save enough money to go to Disneyland.
Peyton: But all we have to do is get a ticket!
Mom: Yes, but tickets cost a lot of money and we do not have alot of money
Peyton: We can go to the store and get more money
Mom: no that is not how it works. You have to work hard to earn that much money.

So that morning after hearing about her going to Disneyland for several hours I finally got her on the phone with Nana in hopes that Nana would be able to explain things better than I. That conversation went something like this:

Peyton: Nana I want to go to Disneyland with you
Nana: You do?
Peyton: Yes and ride all the rides like the Carousel and the train and the elephant! but mommy said no because we don't have a ticket.
Nana: Well we just might have to see what we can do about that!

So as you can see Nana was of no help.

The next morning after exhausting her father and I at the the Breakfast table with all this Disneyland talk I finally had a brilliant idea. I told her that she could go to Disneyland if she could raise enough money to go. (Secretly knowing that Nana and Papa would not be able to refuse her little pleading face and would eventually buy her a ticket to go to Disneyland anyways, I might as well get a lesson out of this... right?) So we got her piggy bank off the shelf and counted the money she had in it. She actually had, to my surprise, $12 in it. Than we looked online to see how much tickets to Disneyland were and found out they are $62 dollars! (holy cow!) So I told Peyton she had to work to raise $50 more dollars to buy a ticket to go to Disneyland. We talked about things she could do to work for the money like picking up her toys (at that moment she immediately jumped up and did that) helping mom match the socks from the laundry, emptying the dishwasher, washing her dishes and being nice to Amber (which will be the hardest of all the jobs and worth the most money!) It has been a few days now and let me tell you I have a different child on my hands!!! She has been so helpful and asks me all day what she can do to get money and jumps at the task and does it well!!! I pretty much have her trained to fold socks and empty the silverware from the dishwasher and today while Amber was being fussy in the car instead of shouting at her to be quiet Peyton reached over and grabbed Amber's hand and said "Its ok Amber, we will be home soon" I just about died. I caught her eye in the rear view mirror and she said "did I earn some money mommy?"
So we will see how long this last. I will keep Peyton's quest for Disneyland updated...I am not sure if this is going to be a great lesson learned for her if it will back fire on me and from now on she won't help around the house unless she gets some money for it. But a parent's role is ultimately a big guessing game right?

REVELATION

Thanks to my new found love in Beth Moore and her Bible Studies God has really been teaching me A lot. I love Beth Moore's approach to the scriptures and her passion for understanding them. (I especially look forward to seeing her choice of outfit and hairdo week after week! :) ) In the fall I finished my first study of hers through the book of Esther. It was, to say the least, life changing for me. Just a few weeks ago I gladly jumped in to a new study of hers through the book of Revelation. I don't particularly love this book of the bible, I have been through studies of it before and came away from them with nothing more than fear, but I was very curious as to what Beth Moore had to say about Revelation so I joined the study. After only three short weeks she has once again left me inspired and wanting more. Here is what I have learned so far.

The theme running through the book of Revelation is to OVERCOME!!! That was so eye opening to me and has allowed me to be able to come to this book with hope rather than fear! What a wonderful reminder that God's will for his people is to overcome! It is NOT his will for the ones that love him to be in bondage over addiction, depression, anger or rejection. We are more then conquers in Christ Jesus who loves us.

We have also been studying the person of John to see what we can learn about being able to receive a fresh revelation from God and so far the biggest thing that has stuck out to me is that he simply WANTED IT! In Revelation 1:12 John says "and I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me" He just turned around....he made the choice to turn toward Jesus. How often do I make the choice to turn away from Jesus and seek answers elsewhere and than wonder why I am not hearing form God? Some other things we can learn from John is first, he overcame and endured through his hardships (When he received his revelation he was in fact cast away from all that he knew and loved and put on an island to be persecuted.) second, he feared God! and third, he trusted God! If only we could apply these few things to our lives on a daily basis, think of the new Revelations we might receive!

And lastly (for today) I have learned that in order to receive a new revelation I must first come back to my "first love" JESUS. There are two distinct ways to turn from Jesus, one is to purposefully do so. To make that choice not to follow him and look for truth elsewhere. which is so easy to do these days with all the psychological mind games that the world can play with us it is easy to start believing the world rather than God. The other is to just to simply let him (our first love) slip away. I have to tell you that I was convicted this week to ask myself "is God my first love???" Have I (unknowingly) in the business of life, and kids, and day to day activities let Him slip away?

This I know to be true...It is impossible to receive a fresh revelation from God by accident, it has to be a choice. I encourage you to ask yourself some tough questions today. I don't know about you but I WANT to receive a fresh revelation from God and step by step I am making that choice.

"I can see the whole world from up here!"

Both of my children are amazing and beautiful but today I want to spend sometime updating you on the life of Peyton. Well she turned three just a week ago and much to her delight and her parents fear she is now a little lady. The things that come out of her mouth have me smiling constantly even when she is in trouble, I try to bite my lips but can't help it she is just to funny. It is Drama Drama Drama all the time in her little world. Her newest thing, at the moment is that she pretends that she is falling down all the time. Like ALL the time. At least 10 times a day she will be walking and all the sudden she "pretends" to fall down and cry's out for help in the most dramatic fashion. The only explanation we can come up with for this behavior is that her one year old sister is starting to learn to walk and falls down a lot and she would like to have some of that attention on her as well. (as if she doesn't get enough already).
In the past few months she has found (much to my delight) the joy of watching and making home videos. She has learned that my phone can make a video so often once Amber goes to bed she asks me to record her dancing or singing on my phone and then she will watch over and over and just laugh and laugh. I am not sure how well she understand the concept of our home videos because often when we are watching tv she will come in the room and look at the tv and say "Mom is that you on the tv?" The other night we were watching Olympic Ice skating and she said "mommy look at you skating! you are doing such a good job?" I said "Why thank you!" :0)
Some of her favorite things at the moment are Sausage (don't know how this started but it is one of the only things she will eat) WordWorld (A TV show all about words! Its wonderful because its teaching her some of the fundamentals of reading through songs and phrases. I will catch her singing them sometimes and it blows me away.) Riding her bike (not just down hill anymore) The other day she road her bike around the whole park! And Gymnastics! The thing she lives for week after week. She can now walk across a high balance beam all by herself, swing on the rings, and jump from a high platform into a foam pit with no fear! This week will be her last class in the mommy and me level. Starting next month her teacher thinks that she is ready to move on to the next level! I am such a proud mommy. She is working so hard and listens so well during class. I think I might just shed a tear on her first day of class when I will be sitting on the sidelines just watching her do it all by herself without moms help. She is growing up way to fast!
Lastly, This morning we were rushing out the door because we were running late to Bible study and as I was putting Amber in the car I yelled for Peyton to get in the car too but, no such luck, so I turned to grab her and I saw that she was standing on our porch railing stretching on her tiptoes to peer over the side and with a look of amazement and said. "Mommy I can see the whole world from up here!" My first thought was to grab her from that railing and briskly walk her to the car saying "no you don't the world is much bigger than what you can see from that railing!" But than I caught myself, and for just a moment I tried to imagine what it would be like to be able to behold and dwell in the beauty of the world that was just outside my porch railing. What kind of peace would I find in the cool sea breeze, or the beautiful tall oak trees that give our little house shade, or the fact that on a clear day you can see the ocean from our porch and what about spending sometime in awe and wonder over the thickness of the morning fog. So instead I picked Peyton up and together looking at the view from our porch railing I said "Yea...isn't it amazing!"
May you find safety and peace from the view of your porch railing today!

Birthdays, Birthdays and more Birthdays....

So it's Birthday season here at the Kertson household. For those of you who don't know already...all four of our birthdays are within a month of each other, only two weeks separating each with Brandon starting the extravaganza on Dec. 31st, Ambers being Jan. 13th, Mine Jan 27th and lastly Peyton's being Feb. 8th. (Poor Peyton...this is the first year she actually understands her birthday and is soooooooooo looking forward to it and has had to watch all her other family members birthdays go by before hers.) So there you have it...poor planning...or just no planning...however you want to put it, that is our situation. So with this situation comes many challenges, the first of course is the money issue...especially after the Holidays things are a bit tight. Before Amber was born I didn't see this as such a huge crisis. Brandon and I were willing to take a back seat to presents and things on our birthdays so save up money for presents and parties on Peyton's birthday but that little plan soon went out the window a year later when a new little gift came along in the form of Amber in January. So now we have delicate decisions to make regarding how we celebrate birthdays. Now I understand that there are the kinds of people who grew up in households where birthdays were not a huge deal but I WAS NOT ONE OF THEM, so Birthdays are big for me. I want to go all out and make them special so that is why I am struggling with our situation.
So how are we handling it this year you ask? Well...as a good friend (who shall remain nameless) has pointed out...not well. It all started with this idea that seemed to make a lot of sense to me, here it is: invite the same amount of friends to your child's party as the age they are turning that year. So when Amber's 1st birthday rolled around we invited her ONE best buddy Micah and his family over for dinner and cake. It was a nice evening...very different then Peyton's first birthday where there was 30+ plus people and lots and lots of presents (not that that was not fun too) but following this new rule I tried it out. Unfair to Amber? I don't know...At the moment I don't think she knew the difference. All she knew was that she got to play with balloons and people sat around and watched her eat cake. (which was homemade with less sugar...different then peyton's store bought chocolate cake which put her in a sugar coma. Unfair too?) Will Amber ask why she didn't get a big 1st birthday party like Peyton did when she is 16 and looking at family photos? That I don't know...
When it came time to plan Peyton's party I started it with the new rule in mind although I knew I had to fudge it by two. Inviting five friends and their families. I blame it on being apart of a wonderful church family where peyton attends play group on Friday and Sunday school on Sunday and has accumulated some very close friends that she speaks of on a daily basis by name so we could not pick three and leave the other two out. Well some how in the last couple weeks the guest list has grown to somewhere around 30 people!!! How this happened...well once again...I blame it on our wonderful life where we have so many wonderful friends that love peyton and want to celebrate her. Unfair to Amber? Maybe...but at this point what has been done this year has been done. But it takes good friends to make you think...so that it what I am doing in this blog. Thinking. I know in my heart I do not favor one of my children more than the other and I only had their best interest at heart in the planning of their birthdays. Next year will bring even more challenges as Amber grows and starts to understand her birthday we are going to have to decide how this is going to go down and how it is going to go down fairly. So any suggestions would greatly be appreciated. Obviously for me I want to throw them both individual birthday parties and make them feel loved and celebrated. I hate the thought of them having to have combined birthday parties for the rest of their childhood but as anyone knows who has planned a birthday party before they are freakin expensive!!!! So what to do....what to do. Well I guess I dwell on it all year and hope to come up with a fair yet wonderful solution for next year. Again any suggestions are much appreciated!!! and don't worry another little gift to arrive in the winter months is NOT in the plan this year....and yes there is a plan! :)