Today was my first day actually being on San Diego State Campus. I had a meeting with a student who is interested in being a part of Chi Alpha. Walking onto the campus I felt like a freshman all over again, not knowing where I was going but not wanting to look at the dreaded campus map for fear of shear embarrassment from the more cultured classmates. I felt old and wondered if I looked it. It was kind of an out of body experience because I was immediately taken back to my college days and the faces of the students walking by reminded me of all the emotions you feel when you are a college student. Some students were walking through the halls with confidence like they owned the campus and gosh I always admired those types. How do they do it? Yet, now in my more mature state of mind I know they are probably just as lost as everyone else, others are more reserved yet I know they feel the weight of the world on their shoulders. There are the groups of silly, giggly girls running past and the groups of athletic guys eyeing the girls. There were students who were actually studying and others who only appeared to be. I caught the eye of one girl who was sobbing on her cell phone... Maybe a break up... who knows....but it all took me back to years passed and I was so inspired that I grabbed my cell phone and jotted down this letter.
I see you sitting over there all alone with a Starbucks in one hand and a book bag slouched next to your chair, you occasionally glance down at your cell phone while keeping one eye on the look out for anyone you might know walking by. I see you, I get you, because I used to be you. I know what it feels like to have the world at your finger tips yet it terrifies you all at the same time, you want to be the best you can be yet you find yourself falling short, you believe in dreams but are so aware of the realities, you think you are pretty cool and have a lot to offer yet there is still that voice in your head that makes you question all of that. You think you know yourself but you don't always trust yourself. You wish you were better looking, smarter, and more talented but deep down you know you were made this way for a reason but most days you just wish you knew what that reason was.
If I could share with you for just a moment. If you would allow me to impart my few years of wisdom that I have on you I would tell you this... Don't take yourself so seriously. You don't have it all figured out and that's okay no one expects you to. You are young, vibrant and beautiful so stop telling yourself that you are not, because in the end it is wasted energy that could be spent enjoying your youth because one day you will realize it passes way to quickly. I know your head is swimming with dreams for your future and some may come true and some may not but what is important is that you figure out what you are passionate about and pursue that, because therein lies your fulfillment. You see, I believe you were made in the image of God, you were created by a loving and giving Savior. All your interests, passions and dreams were put there by the God who made you and they are good, in fact they are the secret to your success. If you can figure out what you are made for it is there you will find fulfillment. I pray you will learn to dream forever because when you are following your passions you are following God and when you follow God your dreams only get bigger and more beautiful. If you can do this I can promise that you will wake up one day in the near future and be comfortable in your own skin. My prayer for you is that you will get to a place that you don't care what anyone thinks of you anymore because you know who you are and who you were created to be and that is all that really matters.Love,
Your Future Self