Friday, March 27, 2009

The gold shoes incident

So it happened!!! One of my worse fears as a parent finally happened! My child tried to pick out her OWN outfit. I know I know....nothing to be this dramatic about but to me it hurt! I am one of those moms who loves picking out my kids outfits...I get a high out of it...its one of my favorite parts of the day. People have always told me "just wait for the day that she decides she gets to dress herself." and I always cringe at the thought of sending my child out of the house in mixed matched clothes. but I knew it was bound to happen and a necessary step into becoming the person she was made to be. I just thought I had a few more years. Well it happened a few days ago. I told Peyton to go get her shoes because we were going bye bye to the park. She ran into her room and came out super excited with her gold fancy shoes that went with her Christmas dress last year. Long story short...a few min later we were in the car with tennis shoes on and a tear stained face. This incident made me start thinking a mom one of my jobs is to see the personality traits that God has given my children and allow them to develop so that they become their own person. I really really don't want to be that mom who's kids are in highschool and she is still laying their clothes out for them on their beds, but it is going to be hard to let it go. This is just one of the many many things I am going to have to let go of and I am beginning to realize just how difficult this is going to be. My Mom and Dad told me somthing once that I will never forget. They said that from the moment a child is born they instincly start to pull away from their moms starting with the seperation from her body to the day they move out of the house. Its natural, its all part of the plan. As moms we have to realize that our children are not ours they are Gods...He has given them to us to be nurtured and loved and to ultimatly be given away...but its so hard...a concept that I have to remind myself of daily. After the gold shoes incident I have begun this letting go process by realizing it starts with prayer. Before Peyton goes to bed at night I pray with her. Not just a ho hum repetitive prayer but a deep meaningful prayer about her life and the desires I believe God has for her that they would come to pass. And that she too would desire to be the person God has made her to be. Peyton sits quielty peeking out of one eye as I pray...I have no idea what she is thinking...but she always has a huge smile on her face when we both say Amen together. I hope one day she will begin to echo those prayers for herself and desire to become the person God made her to be.


Bethany said...

Man Kendra. You gotta quit making me cry with these things :) But really, it's great to read about what you're learning as a mom!

jes said...

Nice Kendra! I know it must be hard. And you make me realize how hard it must be for my parents right now! Talk about pulling away! thousands of miles away! But just like you, my parents prayed over me the same prayers you have for Peyton. And as you grow and learn and raise your child up in the way she should go, I bet the letting her go part is a little less scary for you than for people who don't believe their children's paths are directed by God. Keep up the good work! Cuz i'm gonna come to you for the answers when it's my turn! :)

Sarah said...

I am going to say it again! Don't buy her sassy shoes if you don't want her to want to wear them all the time! ;) Technically I guess Mama Hawkins bought them! She is so precious and I know this is the "worst" thing for you but like I have said from day one, let her be an idividual on the days you are not leaving the house or that you are only going to the park, you can still pick out church clothes! My Mom did! :) Just think of this as preparation for the big things she gets to pick on her own one day! I can't wait to hear the "worst" this replaces! You will be longing for her to only want to pick her gold shoes one day. (Man Sarah, way to encourage and help! Sorry!) Seriously, good job friend! I know this is hard and super not your favorite thing but you are honestly dealing with it completly as you should - with prayer!

Jonni said...

Can I just say that every day I thank God for giving my son a wife and a mother for his children who is so full of the love and spirit of the Lord. It fills my heart to see and to read about how you are growing and maturing as a wife and mother and to know that my grandchildren have been placed in the hands of a mom who loves them so much that she seeks God first in all things! I love you Kendra!