Friday, March 27, 2009
The gold shoes incident
So it happened!!! One of my worse fears as a parent finally happened! My child tried to pick out her OWN outfit. I know I know....nothing to be this dramatic about but to me it hurt! I am one of those moms who loves picking out my kids outfits...I get a high out of it...its one of my favorite parts of the day. People have always told me "just wait for the day that she decides she gets to dress herself." and I always cringe at the thought of sending my child out of the house in mixed matched clothes. but I knew it was bound to happen and a necessary step into becoming the person she was made to be. I just thought I had a few more years. Well it happened a few days ago. I told Peyton to go get her shoes because we were going bye bye to the park. She ran into her room and came out super excited with her gold fancy shoes that went with her Christmas dress last year. Long story short...a few min later we were in the car with tennis shoes on and a tear stained face. This incident made me start thinking though...as a mom one of my jobs is to see the personality traits that God has given my children and allow them to develop so that they become their own person. I really really don't want to be that mom who's kids are in highschool and she is still laying their clothes out for them on their beds, but it is going to be hard to let it go. This is just one of the many many things I am going to have to let go of and I am beginning to realize just how difficult this is going to be. My Mom and Dad told me somthing once that I will never forget. They said that from the moment a child is born they instincly start to pull away from their moms starting with the seperation from her body to the day they move out of the house. Its natural, its all part of the plan. As moms we have to realize that our children are not ours they are Gods...He has given them to us to be nurtured and loved and to ultimatly be given away...but its so hard...a concept that I have to remind myself of daily. After the gold shoes incident I have begun this letting go process by realizing it starts with prayer. Before Peyton goes to bed at night I pray with her. Not just a ho hum repetitive prayer but a deep meaningful prayer about her life and the desires I believe God has for her that they would come to pass. And that she too would desire to be the person God has made her to be. Peyton sits quielty peeking out of one eye as I pray...I have no idea what she is thinking...but she always has a huge smile on her face when we both say Amen together. I hope one day she will begin to echo those prayers for herself and desire to become the person God made her to be.