A moment in the life of Amber

So Amber is 18 months old now and she keeps us busy to say the least. Today I happened to catch a wonderful video of her just doing what she does best...being herself. When she is not driving us crazy she is cracking us up. Such a strange yet wonderful little baby. Hope this video makes you smile like I get to everyday being her Mom. (Sorry for the poor video taping skills with my camera.) The first part of the video she is, for whatever reason, smelling a dirty dish towel and I think she realizes it smells bad...well you will see...she is so funny! :)

"A Wonderful Life"

I love when strangers inspire a blog posting. Does this happen to anyone else but me?...There you are minding your own business and out of no where a stranger can say something to you that stops you in your tracks and forces you to analyze your life. Crazy but happens to me all the time. Today was no different...
So I just got back from a wonderful, amazing girls weekend, hanging with some of my favorite people in the whole world, doing all the things I love, and most importantly living hour by hour for me...just for me. An amazing feeling for a full time mom! I could eat when I wanted, shower when I wanted, take time styling my hair the way I wanted...all things that are hard to do in my daily life. On the last day while laying on a raft in the middle of a lake with my girls I might have sighed and said,"tomorrow I HAVE to go back to being a mom..." It just slipped out. Oops! One of the girls, who does not have kids yet, turned to me and said..."so I need to know...is it worth it?" "Of course its worth it!" I said "everyday I smile because of my kids...everyday I feel indescribable love because of my kids and everyday I feel accomplished because of my kids...that is worth it! But if I am being completely honest tomorrow before I go home I am going to have to sike myself up again before I go back into the world that is no longer mine but theirs."
See I do this thing sometimes where I start throwing myself a pity party. It happens if I start to think to long and hard about the body that I once took for granted before I had kids and now fear I may never get back...or the moments when I think of the dreams I have had to let go of... and the time that I once cherished to just sit, either by myself or with a good friend, and ponder life and its meaning...those moments now seem few and far between. They are short pity parties that often quickly pass but I do have them. I wish I could say that I am a mom like my mom was and many of you are that just LOVES everything about being a Mom! Don't get me wrong I love being a mom but EVERYTHING?...no not everything.
So today was a day like everyday for me. kids, laundry, cooking dishes, cleaning, crying, whining, laughing...but today I decided to get out of the house. The sun was shining in Santa Cruz and this was the first sight of it in weeks, so in the midst of the chores that had to be done I had the bright idea of taking the kids down to the beach for a few hours. Now with children as young as mine you can't just plop them in the stroller and go, it takes about an hour or more to even get to the stroller. After several melt downs, sibling fights, time outs, owies, and not being able to find the right shoes we were out the door. Tear stained faces and all. As I was grumbling to myself walking down our street this nice older lady walking home carrying a bag of groceries took one look at me and said "Wow...you must live a wonderful life!" It wasn't what she said as much as how she said it that made me want to slap myself for the pity party I was throwing only moments before. Seriously...I do live a "wonderful life!" I mean look at me... with my two beautiful children, on a sunny day, walking down to the beach...what is wrong with me to be thinking anything less?
I have been reminded a lot lately about the power and destruction of negative thoughts...After my encounter with the stranger I came to a realization that any negative thought that enters my mind has nothing to do with my kids, or my husband, or my circumstances, it has to do with me! I choose to think negatively or positively about my life, I choose to focus on my shortcomings rather than my blessings. Also, I know that not one of my negative thoughts comes from God, because nothing about the way He thinks and acts is negative, in fact he tells us over and over again in scriptures to change our thinking...to have right thoughts.
One of my favorite verses...dedicated to me by the wisdom of my parents on the day of my high school graduation has often been a wonderful way to get me back on track in my right thinking. Today I looked it up for the first time in the Message Bible here is what is says: "Summing it up my friends, I say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things that are true, noble, authentic, compelling, gracious - the best, not the worst, the beautiful, not the ugly, things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." Philippians 4:8-9
May the God who works in perfect harmony bless you today with positive thinking and remind you... that you live a wonderful life!

These Are My Girls

Just got back from our 6th annual girls weekend with my best friends from college. The older we get the more we appreciate and value the friendships we have with one another. We have over 10 years of memories with each other. Its something rare and special that many do not have. One of the girls, Jes wrote us a song this year. She surprised us and had it recorded before hand and then booked a recording studio for us while in Nashville (on music row I might add) so that we could all do the background vocals together. Of course we were all in tears when we first heard it so it means a lot to me to share with you this amazing blessing I have in these girls. Enjoy!

So... my daughter might be a bully!

I hate to admit this but its true...my daughter (Amber...the baby) is suddenly exhibiting bully like behavior. I first noticed it the other night when we had some friends, who were in town from LA, over for dinner. They have a boy a few months older than Peyton and a girl a few months younger than Amber. The boy and Peyton quickly became fast friends (which I expected) but the babies reacted a little differently. At first Amber would just glare at Emma from across the room but one touch of her stuff and Amber was not having it. Pushing, hitting, screaming and tug o war for toys went on all evening between the two of them. I have to admit that Emma was not letting down either, she put up a good fight...one time even winning a battle for a toy...pretty impressive stuff. Although this little cat fight was quiet entertaining for the parents it made me start to worry a bit about the behavior I saw coming from my 16 month old.
Well if my concerns were not real after that night they certainly are after today. We went to the park to let out some energy. Right away Peyton jumped in with a group of girls who were playing fairies and Amber went straight for the slide (typical). Amber went up the stairs and down the slide several times before another little girl, a few months older than her, started up the stairs at the same time...well for whatever reason Amber was not happy about sharing the stairway and began elbowing her way up, well the other little girl, being bigger than Amber, won the battle and got to the top first Amber just sat there glaring...I am beginning to learn that no good shall come from this look. Amber literally waited for that little girl to come back to the stairs and she began to attack her (well attack may be a strong word but I had to pull my child off of her in fear of her safety) The other little girl had fought back and left scratch marks on Amber's face. For the rest of our time at the park Amber had it in for this girl. She would see her coming and would give her "the look" or let out some harsh baby babble at her...it was crazy. I couldn't believe this was my child. I was that mom at the park who had the kid that all the other moms were whispering about. On the way home we stopped to grab some fast food for dinner while waiting for our food Peyton wanted a toy from the coin machine so in a weak moment I gave in. She got a little blue bouncy ball that was in the shape of a panda bear. Cute! She played with it all through dinner. Back in the car again Amber was picking a fight with Peyton over the last of the ice in the bottom of the soda cup. I heard the fight begin so I encouraged Peyton to give Amber a piece of ice so that we wouldn't have to hear whining all the way home. Peyton was apparently not moving fast enough for Amber and all the sudden I hear Peyton screaming "My blue Ball!!!" I look in my rear view mirror and see Amber with "the look" on her face while she is Chewing on Peyton's blue ball. "Amber" I said "You spit that out!" she just kept chewing while Peyton was screaming. I told Peyton she better give her a piece of ice if she ever wanted to see her ball again. Sure enough as soon as Peyton gave Amber a piece of ice, with vengeance, Amber spit out the ball and handed it back to Peyton. What the heck?!
I have always said "this child is going to be the death of me" from the moment she was born she came out fighting. Hopefully one day I can get her fighting for what is right and she will use that energy to change the world! In the mean time... look out for her at the playground!