Traditions... TRADITIONS!

I have no business taking time out of my busy head elf schedule to be writing a blog right now but my heart is so full at the moment that I feel it important to document this feeling, even if only for my kids to one day read and recall the memories. This morning I made Christmas sugar cookies with my girls. A tradition that I remember doing with my Mom for as long as I can remember. We use this recipe that is called Sue's Sugar cookies. Now, I have no idea who Sue is but thank God for her cookies. They are the best sugar cookies I have ever had. I will not even eat any others. I think the secret is there is sour cream and nutmeg in the dough which makes them super soft and smell amazing. Just the aroma of those cookies flooding my kitchen brings back so many warm and fuzzy memories of Christmas' past. This morning my girls helped roll out the dough and cut the shapes and then frost them. Peyton was actually a big help this year and she decorated them really cute (like I can actually give them away to people and not be embarrased) Amber...well she is only two...I think she spent all morning decorating one cookie but managed to put every frosting color and sprinkle that we had on top making a large mond that made it unable to even see what the cookie on the bottom was in the first place. but she was so proud of her cookie it didn't matter. Once the cookies are all baked and decorated we will pass them out to our neighbors, a tradition that I remember doing with my family as a kid and we have now done each year with our own kids. Peyton blessed me so much a few weeks ago when I was getting out some of her old clothes that she grew out of for Amber to start wearing. We came across a pair of princess sneakers that light up when you walk. Peyton's faced lit up and she excitedly explained "Amber! These are the shoes I wore one Christmas when we were passing out christmas cookies to our neighbors."  How on earth did she connect those two, I will never know but the important thing is that it stuck with her and we made a memory from an old tradition. In case you haven't guessed it I am a huge advicate for traditions, for several reasons, but the most important one is that I believe they bind a family together in such away that is unique and special to only your family. Not only that, traditions benefit kids in so many ways, making them feel like they belong and are apart of something bigger then themselves. I believe that it imprints a marker on their hearts of a memory that hopefully they will cherish forever, even if it is just a pair of princess light up shoes that carried cookies to the nieghbors. :) What are some of your favorite family traditions???

I miss NANA!

After a long couple weeks of go go go fun fun fun with my mom being here while Brandon is away. I was really looking forward to my bed. I put the girls to bed and fell right to sleep the moment my head met the pillow. Around 3am I was awaken to the sound of a small wimper that quickly continued to get louder until it turned into a full blown cry. I rushed into the girls room and flew open the door to find Peyton sitting up in her bunk bed sobbing. I noticed Amber was awake too. My first few thoughts were... she had a bad dream... she is feeling sick... she is scared...I ran over to her and asked "Peyton, what is wrong?" with a sniff sniff she burst into tears again and cried "I MISS NANA!"
 After a trip to the bathroom, a cup of water, a few hugs and reassurance that we would see Nana again soon she went back to bed. As I headed back to my own bed, slightly annoyed at being woken up at 3 am and upset that Amber was now awake, I could not help but smile and send up a quick prayer thanking God for the special relationship Peyton has with my mom and for the fact that she has the ability to love so deeply and completly.

Baby girl names...Help!

Brandon and I finally had a chance to sit down and talk about baby names tonight. I have to say having to name three girls is HARD! We have some wonderful boy names picked out, but alas, here we are once again having to come up with a girl name. We have narrowed our choices down to three and litterally can not choose between them. We asked both Peyton and Amber today which one they liked best and everytime we asked them they had a different answer, so they were not much help. So I decided to go ahead and take a poll here on my blog. Not that the winning name will necessarly be the one we choose but maybe it will give us some perspective. I also like the idea of waiting until we meet her to give her a name so most likely that is what we will do, but in the mean time we would like your input! :) So here are the three choices!
PAIGE
HOLLY
EDEN
What do you think?

Girl #3 - My poor husband

We just found out yesterday that baby girl #3 is on her way. We took the kids to the ultra sound appointment which was really fun. Their little faces lit up when they saw the image of the baby on the screen for the first time. They sat there in awe of the whole thing. Amber kept her little hand on my arm and every once in awhile she would whisper "I love you, mommy." Truly a family moment I will never forget. When it came to the part of investigating wither we were looking at a baby girl or a baby boy the nurse finally declared "Its another girl!" and Peyton slapped her forehead and said "Oh No!" We left the appointment, Amber holding the new pictures of our baby girl and shouting down the hall "That's my baby!" to everyone we passed, as we all giggled at her cuteness, I could not help but notice the disappointment written all over my husbands face. We both knew this was our last shot at a boy. There will be no more babies for us and I know he was really hoping for a son. I spent the rest of the day trying to talk about it with him trying to say all the right things like, "God knows what He is doing", "Maybe we wouldn't be good at raising a boy?", "Your girls can still play sports and watch football with you" But he mostly just remained quiet and I could see he just needed some time to process, So I left him alone.
Early this morning, we woke up to the sound of little girls giggling and chatting, much like we do every morning. Neither one of us wanted to get out of bed, so we laid their waiting to see which one would get up first. Finally my husband broke the silence between us by saying:
 "I guess I should get up with them before they get into something they shouldn't"
 and then the moment came...the one I had been waiting for all day the day before...my husband began to vent:
 "Its rough getting up with them because I know the moment I get out there they are going to want a drink, and then they are going to fight over who gets the princess cup, and then they are going to want breakfast and they are going to fight over who gets the pink plate and now we are Going TO Have Another Girl and We are Going to have to Buy more PINK STUFF!!!"
 I thought he was finished and I was about to interject my thoughts about maybe this time buying purple or yellow when he continued:
 "And they just talk so much....they never stop talking...I noticed that when Micah comes over (a friends son that we watch one day a week) He just makes sounds for everything but he doesn't talk very much, and its not That He Can't Talk Its Just that he Doesn't HAVE TOO!!!! "
I figured he was finished this time because he threw the covers over his head as if to hide from all the progesterone in his home. I couldn't help but smile at his sudden outburst.
We talked for a little while longer and decided that more then likely this new little baby was going to be completely different then the two we've got, and who knows maybe she won't even like pink. If there is anything about parenting that we both have learned in the last five years it's that you never know what you are going to get and we need to be prepared to face a whole new set of enjoyment and challenges with this new child. I think the thought of meeting this new little one got us very excited and so my husband bravely hopped out of bed to get the girls breakfast.
The rest of the morning went on as usual until I heard some strange conversations between Brandon and the girls in their bedroom as they were getting dress. I walked in to see if he needed any help picking out outfits and doing hair, like I do every morning, but to my surprise I walked into the girls dressed in the cutest outfits and Brandon brushing Peyton's hair and Amber's hair was already in two little pig tails with pink bows to match. My husband has never (and I mean never) attempted to do the girls hair and I have to say he did a pretty good job. I can't tell you how much this blessed me. Not unlike my husband, I could tell that he had contemplated his circumstances and decided to go ahead and dive right in and be the best he could be. I just love him so much!
So here's to a house full of happy, giggly, chatty and most of all loved little girls, and my promise that one day we will get a boy dog for my husband to confide in! :)

Hyperemesis Gravidarum

Hypermesis Gravidarum (HG) is a fancy medical term for "pregnant lady can not stop throwing up!" Apparently it is a pretty rare condition, only 2% of pregnant women experience it so I guess I am one of the lucky ones. Ha Ha. I understand this blog is going to be mostly boring to the outside world but I figured I could at least document my experience for my children to read someday since research shows that HG can be hereditary. So read at your own risk. :)


Not much is know about HG in fact most doctors don't understand it and or even dismiss it as common morning sickness but it is anything but common morning sickness. If you have had morning sickness that other people can relate to and give you tips on how to manage than you don't have HG because if you have HG you will know that eating a few crackers or small frequent meals does not help at all and can even make the problem worse. I am at the point now that if one more person tells me to eat a few crackers before I get out of bed in the morning I can no longer give you a smile and thank you for your advice because you obviously don't understand my condition. I can not even take a sip of water without throwing it up so why would a few crackers do the trick? I have been researching this diseases over the last few days and have found a few articles of women who have either taken their own lives or chosen to have an abortion just to stop the torment. I know this sounds extreme but having been there myself understand their pain. Its a horrible, helpless feeling that has left me fearing death myself and of my unborn child and worse part is that nobody understands what you are going through or how to help.


I first found out that I had Hypermesis Gravidarum when I got pregnant with my first child (Peyton) I found out I was pregnant because I started throwing up and I thought it was the stomach flu but after a week of no relief I finally took a pregnancy test and found out that I was indeed pregnant. Now this pregnancy was not planned (as you will soon find out that this is the case with all of our pregnancies) So we were not prepared and had no medical insurance. Little did we know what was in store for us in the months ahead. After weeks of throwing up 5 to 6 times a day, loosing about 10 pounds and my pee turning black (sorry to be so graphic) I finally had no choice but to go to the ER for IVs. That trip cost us $1000.00 but they prescribed a nausea medication for me called Compazine that we were hopeful would give me some relief. After a few days on the medication I started experiencing a very strange feeling in my throat. At first I just thought I needed to throw up but as the hours passed I realized that I was having trouble catching my breath and soon after that it got so bad that I could barely talk or breath but I motioned to Brandon that we needed to go to the ER. I was in fact having an allergic reaction to the medication and that was one of the scariest nights of our lives. I have never seen my husband look so scared and helpless and I saw my life flash before my eyes. After a few shots of benadryl in the ER I was stable and we left that night with another $1000.00 bill but one that possibly saved my life. After months or tortures paper work we finally qualified for medi-cal that helped with the rest of the pregnancy bills and by 4 months pregnant I was starting to feel human again. And on Feb. 8th 2007 a healthy, beautiful, perfect baby girl was born.


Much like woman forget labor pains soon after birth well I forgot what HG was like and a year and half after Peyton was born we began talking about having another baby, which just talking about having a baby between my husband and I apparently means that in a few weeks we are pregnant. We were excited to have another little one on the way and I actually felt good for the first month. I was hopeful maybe HG wouldn't happen to me again but as soon as I got comfortable it hit! One morning I will never forget after spending the night with my girlfriends and planning on spending a nice summer day laying by the pool. A very familiar feeling hit me and I began relentlessly throwing up. This time was different because I had a toddler to take care of that I could not even get out of bed for. I remember having to stay at my moms house so she could take care of us and crying to her that I wished I would have never gotten pregnant again because at that moment I would rather have died than to have gone through HG again. A few trips to the ER later I finally got a doctor who knew what to do with me and prescribed me a medication called Zofran (used primarily for cancer patients going through cemo) The medication helped control the vomiting although I still felt horrible, my amazing family and friends came together and made sure someone was always with me to take care of Peyton and I until I felt better and by the third or fourth month I was able to function again like a normal pregnant person, and on January 13th, 2009 another beautiful healthy baby girl was born (Amber).

On Father's Day of this year we happily yet reluctantly told our families that we were expecting again. I say reluctantly because although we really want this child to complete our family we knew what was instore for our family in the months ahead. I have to say, yet again this pregnancy was a surprise. Without getting to specific, lets just say that some form of protection was being used, but God had other plans. It was hard to be overly excited about the news because all I could think of was what my family was about to go through. All our summer plans that we were so looking forward to flashed before my eyes as I realized it was very likely that I would not be able to attend them. I was sad for my young children who wouldn't understand why their mommy was so sick and for my poor husband who I have seen go through this twice before, I know how hard it is on him having to work full time and come home to a sick wife and have to take care of the kids and all the household responsibilities. Sure enough about a week after announcing our pregnancy I began to get very sick. I knew to call in for Zofran first thing and they were able to get it to me quickly and that seemed to help for a few weeks. But, last weekend everything turned from bad to worse. The Zofran stopped working and I went over 36 hours without being able to keep down any food our water. I began feeling numbness in my arms and legs and painful, splitting headaches. After two trips to the ER in two days the hospital decided to admit me to see if they could get my HG under control. I remember saying a quick prayer that God would give the doctors wisdom and somebody would know something new to try. The afternoon of my first day in the hospital I met the doctor on call and loved her immediately. She told me that during her residency in San Fransico she had been put on a case study for Hyperemesis Gravidarum and using steroids to control the nausea. She told me they had great success with the trial and often found that within three days the women were feeling much better. There was never any harm to the babies reported. I know steroids in a pregnant lady sounds scary but when you are as sick as I am you fear for your baby anyway so I felt like I had no other option but to try it and who knows maybe this was the answer to my prayer. I have been home from the hospital now for three days and I have to say I feel much better. I am hopeful that this is working. I still find it hard to do much more then lay around and I have to take everything really slow so not to stir up the nausea but the vomiting seems to be under control. YAY!

So that is my Hypermesis Gravidarum story thus far. To my children I want to say you are beyond worth it. I would not take back a second of this sickness if it meant you could not be in this world. I know you were each meant to be here for very specific purposes and I am so proud to be your mom. Always remember during hardships that you might face that you, in Christ, have the strength to overcome! Our God is a God of wisdom and compassion and nothing gives Him greater joy than to overcome. And lastly, take the help! Through all of this I have become ever grateful for my supportive family and friends who have gone out of their way to help. You will find blessings in their love so remember in return to be a blessing.
I love you all dearly. Love always. Mom.

Dandelion Wish

Not sure who taught her this...was it me? I don't remember. But, some how my 4 year old daughter knows that when you find a dandelion you are to blow it into the wind and make a wish. Some time in the last year she must have done exactly that because she reminds me of the wish she made every day! I am reminded of it mostly during the mundane activities of life, such as a spur of the moment bike ride around the block, or finding a shiny penny on the sidewalk, getting a Popsicle after dinner and splashing with bubbles in the bathtub. "My dandelion wish came true mommy!!" She often says, "I know baby, You are one lucky little girl," I say, but I know full well that luck has nothing to do with it. She is to young to understand what a powerful thing it is to be able to grasp the scientifically proven fact that happiness comes from savoring the simple things. Her wish.... that every day would be the best day of her life.

Children can teach us a lot about how to be happy. Sure we can read all the self help books in world on the subject of happiness but for me (since I have little to no time to read anyways) its sometimes easier for me to take a moment and watch my children. A child can find joy in the simple things. A child without even knowing it can savor the mundane. I am learning that my children often remember and enjoy the simple moments more than the ones that were planned out for months and cost the most money. The biggest moments are often the smallest ones and we are to savor them.
My dandelion wish for you is that today you will look for joy in the unexpected places, that you would be able to savor the simple moments and that you would not stop until happiness has undeniably consumed you.

Romans 15:13 - May the God of hope fill you with all JOY and all Peace, so that you may over flow with Hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Darn you Rob Bell!

Darn you Rob Bell for stirring up passion in me once again. I am sitting here trying to stop myself from getting involved but passion has taken over and even if it is just on this small platform I call my blog:"All you need is Love", I must speak what is on my heart.

I understand that I am not a theologian, I don't write with big words, correct grammar and perfect spelling but I write with my heart, and I write what I know for sure, and what I know for sure is Christianity in America is in trouble! The statistics are baffling. While at Catalyst a few weeks ago I attended a lab done by Samuel Rodriguez, the leader of the Hispanic evangelical movement, who shared some of these staggering statistics:

- 85% of churches in the US are in a numeric decline

- Americans who identify themselves as Christians has declined 10% in the last decade

- Christianity has less influence on American Politics and Culture than it did 5 years ago.

- Newsweek published an article recently entitled "The end of Christian America"

BUT CHRISTIANITY IS NOT DECLINING IN THE REST OF THE WORLD

-In Communist China there are said to be 28,000 new converts a day

-In Africa Christianity has grown from 5% to 45% in the last decade

-The only Church that is growing in America is the Hispanic church

Something is very very wrong with Christianity in America. I have heard it said that "the church is producing atheists", and who can argue against that statement? We have to know that something is terribly broken. At this point change is crucial.

Rob Bell's new book "Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived" is creating a stir in the christian community. I have not read it yet but I have been keeping up-to-date with the heated debate by reading reviews and blogs on the book and the whole thing has left a bad taste in my mouth. In a time when change is crucial in the christian community why are we arguing and bickering over the same OLD stuff. I find it ironic that Rob Bell is preaching on LOVE and all we can seem to do is belittle each other over our opinions on theology and doctrine. I am not going to share my thoughts on whither or not I think there is a heaven or a hell or if Rob Bell is a universalist, clearly there is enough being written on that subject and my two cents is not needed, but one thing I know for sure is that Rob Bell believes that Christianity in America can be saved. I think we can all learn a lot about love from Rob Bell and the church that he pastors. Does he have all the answers? I am sure he does not but at least he is asking the right questions: "In a gospel whose overwhelming theme is love, why are we not living that out?" I plan to read the book and try to answer that question for myself and I hope you will do the same...stop being afraid and start answering the questions! In the words of Rob Bell, "God can handle the conversation."

The good news is that many giants in the American christian community believe that a time of young pastors doing bold and visionary ministry is emerging. Samuel Rodriguez said "This generation is eager to infuse the world with beauty and grace and the best of Christianity in America is yet to come" I don't know about you but I want to be a part of that movement!!!! I want to hold to the greatest commandment of all LOVE, and offer ALL who are hungry a radically different but far more beautiful, way of doing life. I don't have the answer to the change that needs to be made but I would bet that it has something to do with Love. We are called to manifest God's UNIQUELY beautiful love and bear witness to the reality of Jesus Christ by how we share our lives and serve others. The judgment needs to stop. The arguing needs to stop. The belittling needs to stop and Love needs to start winning! Lets be the change people!
I really like this guys blog about the book and it gives insight into what Rob Bells church is all about.

Dear Amber

Dear Amber,

When you were only a few months old I knew you were something special, you were so observant of the world around you and we would often tease you about your "starring problem", you would stare at everything and everyone, especially people and things that were new to you. People would stop me in the grocery store and say "your baby has been staring at me now for several minutes!" I would just laugh but deep down I knew that a very special personality trait was forming in your tiny body. When you were born we gave you the middle name Hallel which is Hebrew for Praise. Your Dad and I agreed that there was power in that name and with some prophetic notion we believed that you would grow up to be a worshiper. Now of course your Dad would love it if you picked up the guitar one day and lead worship services around the world, but we are both fully aware that worship does not only come from music, and even if you are not musical you will find a way to bring glory to God through your actions. Now I understand that you are only two years old and you have a lot of growing and changing to do but I am amazed by you! You are the most caring, loving, thoughtful, silly, funny little girl that ever walked the earth. How on earth did God think up you I will never know. I am starting to think that the reason why you stare is because you are trying to figure out what that person needs and if you can help. Nothing makes you happier than when you are helping someone else. Every morning you help Daddy unload the dishwasher, and get Laurie up ready for Breakfast. The other day you tried to pour Laurie's cereal into a bowl for her, it didn't go so well but I could not stop smiling over the fact that you would even want to try. Last night as I was leaving the house for a quick trip to the grocery store you ran into the room and brought me out my coat and all I could think at that moment was: how on earth can a two year old be so thoughtful? I am reminded of few verses that suit you well that I hope you will hide in your heart one day.

1 Cor 13: 13 "Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly, but remember the best of these three is LOVE."
Philippians 1: 9-11 "This is my prayer: That your love will flourish and that you will not only love others much but well. Live a lovers life, a life Jesus would be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul making Jesus attractive to all, greeting everyone with the glory and PRAISE of God!"

If you love and serve people the way Jesus did I can't think of a better way to "Hallel" to Praise. I thank God for the things he is going to do through you little one. I am so proud to be your mommy.
love always,
Mommy

Thoughtful gifts are the Best!

As a gift this Christmas Brandon's Mom presented him with a scrapbook that she put together of his childhood. This was HUGE since up until that point all of her pictures of Brandon were in the bottom of a box somewhere...we can all relate right!? :) At first glance I loved seeing him as a kid and of course comparing his looks to our children, Peyton has his eyes and Amber has his nose...but as I got through to the end I could not help but notice how parallel his childhood was to mine. A lot of the parallels were just little stuff like we had the same color soccer uniforms on the same year, and that our Dad's both liked to take us fishing and that we both attended prom our feshman year. (crazy I know! :) ) but what was even more shocking was how similar our faith journey's were. We were both raised in the church...our parents not Christians when they met but soon found their faith after their children were born. As young kids we were involved in a children's evangelism outreach called King's Kids (a ministry founded by YWAM) I was in the LA branch and he in the San Diego... we both fell in love with performing through Kings Kids and began doing community theater were we both performed in the musical Grease...King's Kids also brought out our love for evangelism so as teenagers we went on several mission trips one was to Atlanta Georgia during the 1996 Olympics. Due to our experiences during our mission trips we made commitments to serve the Lord with our lives and chose Azusa Pacific University to study Bible and ministry...it was there that we met for the first time in a "Marriage and Family Life" class and fell in love while performing in a musical...Hello Dolly!. Now is it just me or is that a product of God's incredible handy work... and sense of humor! :) Now of course I knew all of these things before looking at the scrapbook but for some reason seeing it mapped out like that was very powerful for me (can anyone say visual learner?) Like any marriage we have had our far share of ups and downs...during the lows it was easy to question wither or not we were made for eachother but I was reminded yet again of the divine nature of our relationship all thanks to a little scrapbook. Amen to thoughtful gifts and Amen to a God who knows our beginning and our end. Thank You Jesus for being the author and perfector of our Faith!