So...I have a Secret Admirer!

My husband and I have been going through a book for about a year now called "101 nights of romance" by Laura Corn. I know, sounds a bit scandalise but let me explain. Its basically a book full of what it calls "seductions" or otherwise known as dates. When we feel like we might have a little free time that week for a date night or two we each pick an envelope out of the book one says for HIS EYES ONLY the other says for HER EYES ONLY and inside the envelope is a recipe for a wonderful surprising romantic adventure that you plan for your spouse. I can't begin to tell you how much I recommend this book to every married couple. We believe in it so much that we have given it as a wedding present at every wedding we have gone to in the last year. It simply brings back that portion of your relationship that is quickly left behind soon after marriage and that is the ROMANCE! This book has forced us to practice our romance and make it a priority in our marriage. Because after all, it's the thrill of the chase that makes the capture so sweet!
Well not all of the seductions go off without a hitch but they always create amazing memories...for example, Brandon's seduction this week must have been to romance me with flowers. All week long I have been finding flowers hidden for me...Some of my favorite places I found them were on the churches kitchen sink because he knew I was meeting someone there that night...or I had to pick up our car from the shop and the lady that gave me the paper work handed me a flower...I found several on my car windsheild before leaving places too...all the flowers were left with little love notes like "I think you are beautiful"..."I'm thinking of you" etc...and signed - your secret admirer - Yesterday while at swim lessons one of the pool staff ladies walked over to another mom that was sitting at the edge of the pool with a bouquet of flowers and said "I think a Man just left these for you...he said to give them to the lady in the white top sitting by the pool" Well she was wearing a white top and so was I...Mine was white with little flowers on it but, MEN not the most detailed of creatures. I was kind of smiling because I knew they were for me but watching this lady squirm and read the note that said "Love, your secret admirer" was classic. Well she refused the flowers and said they could not possibly be for her because she was married and had two kids. Ha ha ha ha!! Too Funny! So the pool staff lady walked over to me with the flowers and said "I guess these are for you then" I said "Sure, I will take them, I never pass up flowers!"
Well Today at swim lessons that lady came over and introduced herself to me and we small talked for a little bit and than she began to bring up the flower incident from the day before. She said she was very disturbed that a man would send flowers to her child's swim lessons because that was such an inappropriate place to do such a thing! She also began to point out all the strange men that were around the pool that she had caught staring at us and that her husband was very uncomfortable with her coming today and told her to be careful...I told her I was pretty sure the flowers were from my husband...she looked at me shocked! It was hilarious!
Just goes to show how far out of romance practice us married couples can be. Why is it so shocking for a husband to send his wife flowers in a public place? And more than that...are we so consumed with fear that we can not accept or even see the romance in it? Hopefully this has inspired you to bring a little romance into your relationship today...but maybe not at a public pool!

Be kind to your introvert.

I was reminded last week of just how much of an introvert I really am. In my younger days, when I cared to much about what people thought of me, it was hard for me to admit that I was an introvert. I guess I didn't want to be labeled as shy, or a person that didn't know how to have fun and socialize, not that I think introverts are those things but it seems to me that the rest of the world does. So I spent many years failing at being an extrovert until I grew tired and came out of the closet and decided to openly except my introverted personality. For the most part I believe that I am a well-adjusted introvert. I adapt well to the challenges that come with being an introvert but every once in awhile I feel myself becoming overwhelmed. Last week, for example, I came to a head with my introverted side. The kids and I had the joy and privilege of spending three straight weeks with our beloved family members. Even though I love these people dearly and would not take back a second that I spent with them, by the end of the third week I began to feel a bit strange. The best way I can describe it is it feels as though the walls are about to cave in and all I want to do is dive into an air pocket where I know I will be safe. Just for fun I did a little research on the subject this week and I came up with some fascinating facts. So for all my fellow introverts out there this is for you...and for my extroverted friends maybe this will help you understand us...maybe.

1. Did you know that introverts only make up 25% of the population? Although a minority they make up 60% of the gifted population!
2. On average for every hour of socialization an introvert needs two hours of alone time to recharge.
3.Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand But, Extroverts have little to no grasp of introversion. They can not begin to comprehend why someone would want to be alone.
4. Introverts can find small talk easy but tiring – and sometimes boring. They'd rather have meaningful conversations about the depths of human souls and minds.
5. Introverts' personality traits include increased blood flow in the frontal lobes, anterior thalamus, and other regions associated with remembering events, making plans, and problem-solving. An introvert's brain is literally wired differently than an extrovert's!

- I found these facts in a wonderful article published in the Atlantic Magazine, written by Jon Rauch called "Caring for your introvert" http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/

Even though I have full heartily excepted my introvert status I thought just for fun I would post this list entitled "all the things I don't like about being an introvert." Because trust me there are some...

1.I dislike having people assume I won't be comfortable doing something...they are probably right but it's not nice to assume.
2.I don’t like it when I know I’m not being my normal charming self because I am mentally exhausted (probably from being charming).
3.I don’t like having to explain introversion to people as if it’s a “condition”.
4.It bothers me when people tease me for being “in my shell” or even worse when they comment on when I decide to come out.
5.I sometimes don’t like that I think about and analyze things way to much. I have trouble sleeping a lot because I can't shut down my thoughts! Sometimes this trait is good but it can be frustrating.
6.I dislike it when people confuse introversion with being shy, stuck up, conceited or uncaring. I think I’ve been all of the above listed things before, but not because I’m an introvert!
7.It ticks me off when people think I should be saying something when there is nothing for me to say. If I had something of importance to say, I’d pipe up! Otherwise, it’s better to let everyone else run their mouths.
8.It bothers me when I am perfectly happy doing “nothing”,and someone suggests that I do something more fun. What might that be–heading to the nearest club with the loudest music?. Personally I would take sitting and staring at a flower any day.


-posted july 28th by livingintroverted