Thoughtful gifts are the Best!

As a gift this Christmas Brandon's Mom presented him with a scrapbook that she put together of his childhood. This was HUGE since up until that point all of her pictures of Brandon were in the bottom of a box somewhere...we can all relate right!? :) At first glance I loved seeing him as a kid and of course comparing his looks to our children, Peyton has his eyes and Amber has his nose...but as I got through to the end I could not help but notice how parallel his childhood was to mine. A lot of the parallels were just little stuff like we had the same color soccer uniforms on the same year, and that our Dad's both liked to take us fishing and that we both attended prom our feshman year. (crazy I know! :) ) but what was even more shocking was how similar our faith journey's were. We were both raised in the church...our parents not Christians when they met but soon found their faith after their children were born. As young kids we were involved in a children's evangelism outreach called King's Kids (a ministry founded by YWAM) I was in the LA branch and he in the San Diego... we both fell in love with performing through Kings Kids and began doing community theater were we both performed in the musical Grease...King's Kids also brought out our love for evangelism so as teenagers we went on several mission trips one was to Atlanta Georgia during the 1996 Olympics. Due to our experiences during our mission trips we made commitments to serve the Lord with our lives and chose Azusa Pacific University to study Bible and ministry...it was there that we met for the first time in a "Marriage and Family Life" class and fell in love while performing in a musical...Hello Dolly!. Now is it just me or is that a product of God's incredible handy work... and sense of humor! :) Now of course I knew all of these things before looking at the scrapbook but for some reason seeing it mapped out like that was very powerful for me (can anyone say visual learner?) Like any marriage we have had our far share of ups and downs...during the lows it was easy to question wither or not we were made for eachother but I was reminded yet again of the divine nature of our relationship all thanks to a little scrapbook. Amen to thoughtful gifts and Amen to a God who knows our beginning and our end. Thank You Jesus for being the author and perfector of our Faith!

Weaknesses vs. Strengths

Do you focus more on your weaknesses or your strengths?
Did you know that when a survey went out asking this very same question to huge organizations all over the world 30% said they focused on their strengths and 70% focused on their weakness. Why do we this?
This question was brought to my attention after listening to Marcus Buckingham speak at the Women of Faith conference this weekend. As I sat their listening to Marcus I became increasingly convicted on the fact that I as a parent tend to focus more on my children's weaknesses rather than their strengthens. It was brought to my attention how very backwards this way of thinking truly is.
For example: My youngest daughter Amber is not what you would call an "easy" child. From the day she was born I had this sense that she was going to be very different from my first born (who I like to call an angel baby). Amber was born with pixy in her eyes, she is extremely stubborn, short tempered, clingy, overly curious and above all trouble waiting to happen!!! In the last month she has gotten into a bottle of Zicam and thrown it up all over my poor moms blow up mattress, (She has also gotten hold of a baby Tylenol bottle and figured out how to open it regardless of the safety system on it...we luckily got it from her before she took any but not without a fight) She has also learned how to unlock the double bolted front door and numerous times I have caught her just before she made it to the middle of the street, we have had to put one of those baby door knobs on the inside of her bedroom door just to keep her in her room at night but she has recently learned how to tear them apart and get out anyways, not to mention her new found fascination with toilets and the countless times she has backed them up due to flushing inanimate objects down them. I could go on and on about this child and the fun never stops, its all day everyday!!! I have recently become aware that I complain way to much about Ambers behavior and perhaps I need to hold my tongue a bit...So if you hear me ranting PLEASE you have permission to slap my wrist...and I am serious.... I really am working on not talking about her so much in fear that she may hear me and for the rest of her life label herself as TROUBLE, and that is the last thing I want for her.
I have struggled to know exactly how to handle her behavior until this strengths vs weaknesses came to my attention...what if instead of focusing on the above written paragraph I were to tell you that Amber is in fact extremely loving and caring. Already, at one years old, we can tell she has a servants heart and looks out for others often before herself....what an amazing quality right!? She loves to be Mommy's little helper...in fact I caught her this morning trying to unload the dishwasher for me

So I made a commitment to start focusing on my children for what they are rather than what they are not. For Amber I think that means keeping her busy with chores.. LOL...my hope is that by keeping her hands busy it will keep her out of trouble...we will see how it goes. :)

World Changers!

I attend a women's bible study on Tuesday mornings that has been such a blessing for me. Every Tuesday I walk out of there feeling refreshed and alive and today was no exception. We are towards the end of our study and the lesson today was on "Our Calling" The leader of the study shared that she once was at a conference and the pastor stopped in the middle of his sermon and told the crowd that he felt strongly that in the midst of them there were World Changers and he wanted everyone to go to one of those people and pray for them. Looking around she wasn't sure who she should go pray for until she realized that a group of people were laying hands on her and praying for her... Tears began to pour down my face as I found myself taken back to a similar time in my own life when I was 15 years old and a group of people laid hands on me and encouraged me to commit my life to full time ministry. I remember being overwhelmed with the fact that I felt so ordinary yet these people saw something in me that was world changing. I remember feeling my whole body shake because I had never felt like anything was so right before. After that experience I went to college to study ministry and married and pastor and have been serving God ever since but these last few years I have felt sort of lost in my calling. Since becoming a mom I find it difficult to spend time with God like I used to, I can no longer volunteer my time at church, or lead mission trips, and I so desperately desire to work with my husband and his youth ministry but it is just to hard to do these things with the kids. I have spent many days and nights feeling trapped in my own home yet desiring so desperately to be out there changing the world. After the lesson was over our table leader saw that I was emotional and asked if I would share what was going on inside me...I shared with her my feelings of wanting to do and be so much more for
Christ but feeling trapped in this season of raising my young children. She than told me that God gave her a vision as I was sharing...that I was not to worry God has me right were he wants me. She said her vision was of me as a gardener planting seeds and the flowers that grew from those seeds were my children and they were the ones that were world changers! Wow.
Its so funny how we often feel this call on our lives and we see it so differently than God sees it. For me I want to be out there on the mission field getting dirty for God but instead God brought my mission field right into my own home with my two little girls. Maybe for you...you might want to be like the seeds still in the pouch never wanting to get dirty never wanting to grow but God has so much more for you outside of your comfort zone. Ask God today what your calling is...Maybe you are a World Changer too!

I am thankful I am able

Don't you hate it when it seems as though God has you on this "thing" wither its a conviction or a thought or a change of mind its just this thing that no matter how hard you try to get away from it, its everywhere and everyone you know is talking about it, and the pastor preaches his sermon on it, and your friend brings it up in conversation and you get to this point when you finally are like "Is God trying to tell me something?" duh!
Well that is what has been happening to me in the last couple of weeks. The subject matter is nothing deep or life changing its sort of basic really it has to do with house cleaning. yup, house cleaning. It started a few weeks ago when I started to notice my husband making frequent comments about my lack of house work. Comments such as "Wow there are a lot of dishes in the sink today!" or "How long has it been since you pushed the button on the automatic vacuum cleaner?" At first I took offense to his comments and my women's rights side of me emerged and I would strike back with "Well I have been a little busy with YOUR kids all day long" Or "Its just as easy for you to push the button on the vacuum than it is for me" but in my quiet moments his words would sting a little because I realized how little house work I was actually doing and I could probably be doing a better job. So I started to put more work into the house during the day but God could not just stop there (He knows me to well) So it seemed everywhere I went people were talking about this subject of doing your job and doing it well. So I thought I would share just some quick lessons I have learned this week. 1. You should clean your house for your family and you should tidy up for your company. (Yea think on that one for awhile...I know in my house those two are reversed) 2. Be the best you can be in the job God has you in because you never know how that job (as mundane as it may seem) may be preparing you for something bigger in the future. 3.Instead of saying "I HAVE to clean the house today" or "I HAVE to take care of the kids today" instead change it to "I am ABLE..." Putting praise and thanksgiving into your work makes its so much easier to get done. I am by no way saying that because I am a women my duty is the house work. Brandon and I made a commitment on our wedding day that stigmas like that would not be apart of our household but I have come to the realization that for this season of life, I am home with the kids and the house and for now that is my job, and I am to do it well. I have to say that I cleaned the house with a thankful heart yesterday and my husband actually noticed and that felt good. So for me, I need to clean my house more, what can you be doing better in the season of life you are in?

"I'm not perfect..."

Its so hard to come home from vacation! I suggest that we start a new tradition that after a week vacation you get another week at home to let your body adjust to the real world. Brandon and I just got back from a 7 day cruise to the Mexican Riviera. We had a BLAST to say the least. 7 days and 7 nights with NO kids! I think we most appreciated the undisturbed sleep. The first morning we slept until 10am (We were bummed we missed the morning buffet.) We were like kids again...we ate whatever we wanted when we wanted, we stayed out late dancing, we went down the Cruise ship twisty slide several times, we went on several adventures like ATV rides, zip lines, water skis and racing horses along the beach...I can't even begin to tell you how much I needed to feel...well...Free again.
So coming home has been an adjustment, to say the least. We have gotten through the week dragging our feet through the mundane tasks of everyday life. I feel like Brandon and I have talked only when necessary...both trying to morn and adjust in our own way I guess. And I have not been the most energetic mom this week either...if you know what I mean.
Well today, after spending the day picking apples at a local farm with our good friends from play group, I finally had a fun day in my REAl life and it was just what I needed to snap me out of my vacation woos. But, the best part of the day was that my 3 year old enlightened me! Yup, you heard me right! Don't you just love the moments when you think you are about to be super mom and teach your child a very important life skill, like baking a pie, and than your child turns around and teaches you something so much more important. Well it happened to me like this: I got Petyon all set up on a chair by the sink washing the apples while I was peeling and coring. I was already getting a little teary over the fact that my baby was able to wash a basket full of apples like a pro...when and how did she learn to do such a thing...and when did she get tall enough to reach the faucet??? But to seal the deal on the tear flow my little princess starts singing a song from our latest car CD by Laurie Berkner:
"I'm not perfect, no I'm not.
but I do the best with what I got!
I do my very best, I do my very best,
I do my very best each day
but I'm not perfect and
I hope you like me that way!"
"sing it with me mommy!" Peyton shouts. So away we worked singing this song at the top of our lungs. Peyton even changed the lyrics to "WE are not perfect" and with each verse I felt more and more free. As I sang "We're not perfect!" all the not so perfect mom moments of the past week began to flash before me, like the fact that I plopped my kids in front of a movie so that I could sneak off and catch up on Project Runway Episodes, or the time that I faked being asleep while my husband got up with the baby. "I'm not perfect but I do the best with what I got" I shouted, this time with feeling. It felt amazing! Seriously try it! We sang it over 26 times (which I would NOT recommend) but really...It just feels good to accept and acnowledge that we are not perfect every once and awhile....and guess what...Its ok! I wish you all could have heard my 3 year old sing this song, you too would have been enlightened! :)

So...I have a Secret Admirer!

My husband and I have been going through a book for about a year now called "101 nights of romance" by Laura Corn. I know, sounds a bit scandalise but let me explain. Its basically a book full of what it calls "seductions" or otherwise known as dates. When we feel like we might have a little free time that week for a date night or two we each pick an envelope out of the book one says for HIS EYES ONLY the other says for HER EYES ONLY and inside the envelope is a recipe for a wonderful surprising romantic adventure that you plan for your spouse. I can't begin to tell you how much I recommend this book to every married couple. We believe in it so much that we have given it as a wedding present at every wedding we have gone to in the last year. It simply brings back that portion of your relationship that is quickly left behind soon after marriage and that is the ROMANCE! This book has forced us to practice our romance and make it a priority in our marriage. Because after all, it's the thrill of the chase that makes the capture so sweet!
Well not all of the seductions go off without a hitch but they always create amazing memories...for example, Brandon's seduction this week must have been to romance me with flowers. All week long I have been finding flowers hidden for me...Some of my favorite places I found them were on the churches kitchen sink because he knew I was meeting someone there that night...or I had to pick up our car from the shop and the lady that gave me the paper work handed me a flower...I found several on my car windsheild before leaving places too...all the flowers were left with little love notes like "I think you are beautiful"..."I'm thinking of you" etc...and signed - your secret admirer - Yesterday while at swim lessons one of the pool staff ladies walked over to another mom that was sitting at the edge of the pool with a bouquet of flowers and said "I think a Man just left these for you...he said to give them to the lady in the white top sitting by the pool" Well she was wearing a white top and so was I...Mine was white with little flowers on it but, MEN not the most detailed of creatures. I was kind of smiling because I knew they were for me but watching this lady squirm and read the note that said "Love, your secret admirer" was classic. Well she refused the flowers and said they could not possibly be for her because she was married and had two kids. Ha ha ha ha!! Too Funny! So the pool staff lady walked over to me with the flowers and said "I guess these are for you then" I said "Sure, I will take them, I never pass up flowers!"
Well Today at swim lessons that lady came over and introduced herself to me and we small talked for a little bit and than she began to bring up the flower incident from the day before. She said she was very disturbed that a man would send flowers to her child's swim lessons because that was such an inappropriate place to do such a thing! She also began to point out all the strange men that were around the pool that she had caught staring at us and that her husband was very uncomfortable with her coming today and told her to be careful...I told her I was pretty sure the flowers were from my husband...she looked at me shocked! It was hilarious!
Just goes to show how far out of romance practice us married couples can be. Why is it so shocking for a husband to send his wife flowers in a public place? And more than that...are we so consumed with fear that we can not accept or even see the romance in it? Hopefully this has inspired you to bring a little romance into your relationship today...but maybe not at a public pool!

Be kind to your introvert.

I was reminded last week of just how much of an introvert I really am. In my younger days, when I cared to much about what people thought of me, it was hard for me to admit that I was an introvert. I guess I didn't want to be labeled as shy, or a person that didn't know how to have fun and socialize, not that I think introverts are those things but it seems to me that the rest of the world does. So I spent many years failing at being an extrovert until I grew tired and came out of the closet and decided to openly except my introverted personality. For the most part I believe that I am a well-adjusted introvert. I adapt well to the challenges that come with being an introvert but every once in awhile I feel myself becoming overwhelmed. Last week, for example, I came to a head with my introverted side. The kids and I had the joy and privilege of spending three straight weeks with our beloved family members. Even though I love these people dearly and would not take back a second that I spent with them, by the end of the third week I began to feel a bit strange. The best way I can describe it is it feels as though the walls are about to cave in and all I want to do is dive into an air pocket where I know I will be safe. Just for fun I did a little research on the subject this week and I came up with some fascinating facts. So for all my fellow introverts out there this is for you...and for my extroverted friends maybe this will help you understand us...maybe.

1. Did you know that introverts only make up 25% of the population? Although a minority they make up 60% of the gifted population!
2. On average for every hour of socialization an introvert needs two hours of alone time to recharge.
3.Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand But, Extroverts have little to no grasp of introversion. They can not begin to comprehend why someone would want to be alone.
4. Introverts can find small talk easy but tiring – and sometimes boring. They'd rather have meaningful conversations about the depths of human souls and minds.
5. Introverts' personality traits include increased blood flow in the frontal lobes, anterior thalamus, and other regions associated with remembering events, making plans, and problem-solving. An introvert's brain is literally wired differently than an extrovert's!

- I found these facts in a wonderful article published in the Atlantic Magazine, written by Jon Rauch called "Caring for your introvert" http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/

Even though I have full heartily excepted my introvert status I thought just for fun I would post this list entitled "all the things I don't like about being an introvert." Because trust me there are some...

1.I dislike having people assume I won't be comfortable doing something...they are probably right but it's not nice to assume.
2.I don’t like it when I know I’m not being my normal charming self because I am mentally exhausted (probably from being charming).
3.I don’t like having to explain introversion to people as if it’s a “condition”.
4.It bothers me when people tease me for being “in my shell” or even worse when they comment on when I decide to come out.
5.I sometimes don’t like that I think about and analyze things way to much. I have trouble sleeping a lot because I can't shut down my thoughts! Sometimes this trait is good but it can be frustrating.
6.I dislike it when people confuse introversion with being shy, stuck up, conceited or uncaring. I think I’ve been all of the above listed things before, but not because I’m an introvert!
7.It ticks me off when people think I should be saying something when there is nothing for me to say. If I had something of importance to say, I’d pipe up! Otherwise, it’s better to let everyone else run their mouths.
8.It bothers me when I am perfectly happy doing “nothing”,and someone suggests that I do something more fun. What might that be–heading to the nearest club with the loudest music?. Personally I would take sitting and staring at a flower any day.


-posted july 28th by livingintroverted